Hasta La Gadget!

Do people treat you differently if you lost a lot of weight to become slim and fit? originally appeared on Quora – the knowledge sharing network where compelling questions are answered by people with unique insights.

Answer by Leah Alissa Bayer, Architect, on Quora.

What are your impressions of this girl?

Would you offer to buy her a drink? Show her off on a date? Would you think she’s ambitious and healthy? Could you fall in love with that face in a week, or get excited about the idea of moving things to the bedroom? Do you wonder what her hair smells like? Do you want to know what her dreams are? What her history is? Would you hold the door open for her and let your gaze linger a little longer than it should? Would her smile make your heart flutter? Do you think she makes friends easily? Do you think she’s a top contender for a competitive position at an awesome employer? Would you pick her to be on your team? Would you notice her in a crowd, or miss her when she’s gone? I’m guessing most of those spark a big, fat “No”, right?

I’ll tell you what, I got really good at pretending not to see the looks of disgust and mockery from men and women alike, but some days I preferred the cruelty to being completely ignored altogether. Being fat was terribly lonely. I often didn’t leave the house because I was so uncomfortable in my (extra) skin, and ill-fitting, hideous plus size clothing didn’t help. On rare occasions, I’d get dressed up and spend hours on hair and makeup in an attempt to look attractive for an evening but I always came back home feeling like an outcast. I wasn’t always fat, but I was for long enough to forget what it felt like to be treated well by strangers or chased after by men.

This isn’t an essay about how to lose weight, so I’ll skip that part. Needless to say, after hitting rock bottom I made big changes and worked my ass off, literally. 80+ pounds, gone.

Let’s try this again. What are your initial reactions to this girl?

A little more favorable? Yeah. Even if you’ve been through it yourself, some things are engrained in us, like thinner = better.

That girl made friends, found love, and lived a happier life. Partially because she was happier and more confident, but a big part was the external approval and inclusion. It’s amazing how subtle the treatment between fat and not-fat can be. There were the obvious compliments, but beyond a healthy option of dating prospects were unexpected little things: bigger smiles from strangers, more academic attention from professors, more employment offers, people going out of their way to get to know who I am and what I do. People were more curious about my ideas, wanting me to succeed, and that conditional support was one of the hardest things to swallow because… why did my weight have anything to do with my ambition and potential to do great things?

I’m not mad at those who treated me like a waste of space when I was heavier. I get it, we judge – it’s deeply engrained in animal nature to pick the most attractive mates. I do it to myself, and I’m guilty of judging others. Rather than pretending that we don’t, which often leads to ignoring the individual that triggers our shamefully discriminatory behavior, take a moment to acknowledge your reaction and then counteract it with a step in the right direction – connect. Fight the distancing, listen, make eye contact, understand, and recognize the potential and value in everyone despite physical appearances. You know nothing about the person you’re treating poorly (or over-the-top nicely), make an effort to learn.

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Another masterpiece by Greek veteran director, Pantelis Voulgaris based on the novel “Little England”, written by his wife, Ioanna Karystiani. The film’s excellent cast includes; Pinelopi Tsilika, Sofia Kokkali, Aneza Papadopoulou and Andreas Konstantinou.

“Little England” sets the story on the Greek Cycladic “Captain’s” island of Andros in the 1930’s. This modern day tragedy is European story telling at its best, based on a story between two sisters fallen in love with the same man. The director does an exquisite job painting a picture of the epic love story, and showcasing the women of the island married to sea men, their traditional family duties, values, honor and sacrifices in their community.

Voulgaris not only draws you in with his impeccable story telling, but also captures breathtaking shots of the island and its raging seas. The photography is magnificent, the acting is outstanding and the plot tells of untold stories of the times and the secrets that destroy families.

“Little England” has won six Greek Film Academy Awards and has achieved great acclaim abroad, winning three Golden Goblet Awards for Best Feature Film at the Shanghai International Film Festival, and taking away Best Director and Best Actress awards. “Little England” was also nominated at the Satellite Awards for Best Foreign Language Film. “Little England” can be found on Netflix and Amazon.

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Khaled, an incredibly kind and proud Palestinian taxi driver, often drove me wherever I needed to be while I was living in Cairo. He was recommended to me by the landlord who I was renting my “desert abode” from in New Cairo. I call it a desert abode because it was literally in the middle of the desert, with only massive, vacant buildings around it.

I had been living in Maadi, an expat-filled neighborhood with a wonderful roommate, but the noise from late-night traffic had become unbearable. I moved to New Cairo, where I was among one of two people who lived in my building, even though I never saw the other student that lived there. I am quite sure the hallowed out sculptures of buildings around us were empty, with only Bedouin spirits creeping through them in the night.

Except, there was one barren floor across the way, overlooking my window and into my small studio room, which was no longer empty after a few weeks. A homeless family moved in, perhaps thinking that the other buildings were also entirely empty so no one one notice. After I received a huge shock while I was walking around post-shower, it was a miracle that the water was actually running and not ice cold, I noticed wide eyes peering at me from the dilapidated window. Someone quickly shirked back into the shadows and the very next day a piece of worn, old cloth was hung up along the window so I couldn’t see in, and so no one else could technically see out.

When Khaled would pick me up from my desert abode, so I could take an afternoon off from my research and actually experience my beloved Cairo, I would frequently head to two of my favorite neighborhoods, Maadi or Zamalek. He would blare Enrique Iglesias, “I Like It” and would suddenly turn down the music incredibly low, perhaps beneath the vibrations of a whisper, whenever we would pass the Cairo Necropolis. Then Khaled would enthusiastically twist the knob back up to sing along to his favorite music as soon as the tail of the car passed the last wall of the immortal grounds.

Khaled was incredibly animated and always had a huge smile on his face. He would tell me Palestinian tales and how he thought I should never trust someone from Israel, or how I honestly shouldn’t trust Egyptians for that matter. He insisted that I resembled a daughter of the pharaoh’s, which led me to believe that I should stop wearing so much winged eyeliner, and that I should always be extremely careful.

In fact, Khaled was so concerned with my safety that he frequently tried to talk me into purchasing a taser, and even stopped in front of numerous shops where I could purchase one on several occasions.

I trusted Khaled to a great extent, as he would often drive me home late at night, while the moon was out and the smog would begin to fade as we moved from Old Islamic Cairo to New Cairo. I always sat in the back of his taxi filled with Palestinian stickers and scarves, which is what all women typically do in Cairo, both for safety purposes and because of cultural expectations.

I generally fell asleep as I do in all modes of transportation, whether it’s a motorcycle, tuk-tuk, desert truck, airplane or barely functioning automobile, and would wake up only when Khaled would turn around and tap on the back of the seat in front of me. He would say, “Miss Whitney, you can sleep here but your bed is calling you!” or “Did you dream of Tennessee?”

I always felt like Egyptians constantly want to know what you are thinking, as they are a very interpersonal society and some might even argue that they are perhaps very bad at keeping secrets because they are so engaged in their families and communities. It is often said that even the Egyptian regimes of Mubarak and Morsi were quite bad at letting secrets slip, or they could never get all of their stories entirely straight! Though Khaled was Palestinian he was quite similar to many wonderful Egyptians I knew, regarding his great interest in my contemplative silence.

After Khaled would wake me I would occasionally exclaim, “Ah yes! I always dream of Tennessee, but you know there I cannot find such good Egyptian food”, which would leave Khaled laughing until his sides hurt.

He always commented on the fact that I loved food so much and found it hilarious that I had endless snacks in my purse such as bananas, bottles of water or juice, fresh figs and dates, homemade sandwiches, trail mix, Egyptian sweets, and gummi bears. I would always offer some to him and he would take just a small piece or tiny handful while saying, “to keep my energy for when I return to my love, Palestine.”

The last time I was in Cairo Khaled’s mobile number was not working and I am no longer in contact with my previous landlord in New Cairo, for unfortunate reasons concerning being extremely overcharged for a room I was hoping to rent once again, as I finished my graduate studies at the American University in Cairo.

It is disheartening to know that I will probably never see his fatherly face again, with his soft brown Palestinian eyes and large contagious smile, nor hear his chortled laughter which he could never contain no matter how hard he tried.

Whether or not I am in the Middle East and North Africa, every time I get into a taxi I think of dear Khaled and his admirable determination, as well as his great kindness. I only hope that he has made it back to his beloved Palestine, where he left his heart and much of his happiness.

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In the 10 years leading up to their historic bankruptcies, five huge coal mining companies paid $95 million to lobbyists. The companies were fighting to maintain the ability to rent public lands rich with coal at a discount.

Over the same time period, a group of nine coal companies paid executives more than $1 billion.

The data was compiled from public filings by the Western Values Project, an advocacy group, and released in a report on Tuesday. As Bloomberg reported, the “group is pressing regulators to overhaul the program by making transactions more transparent and raising costs to better match the value of coal extracted from private land.” In January, the Obama administration declared a halt to new coal leases on public land while it considers the future of that policy.

The report highlights how coal companies have been successful in cutting employee benefits as part of the bankruptcy process, while maintaining large compensation packages for executives. For instance, when Patriot Coal filed for bankruptcy, it assumed liability for all workers benefits at Peabody, its parent company. As part of the bankruptcy, it cuts those benefits from $1.3 billion to $400 million, while paying Patriot executives $6.9 million the same year.

Similarly, the report notes, “last year, Alpha Natural Resources asked for permission from a bankruptcy judge to cut medical and life insurance benefits for their retirees while also asking the court to approve $11.9 million in executive bonuses. Both the cuts to benefits and the executive bonuses were approved.”

The U.S. coal mining industry has gone through a wave of high-profile bankruptcies. Peabody Energy, the world’s largest private coal company, filed for bankruptcy in April. Fellow coal giants Alpha Natural Resources, Arch Coal, Patriot Coal and Walter Energy have each filed for bankruptcy since January 2015. More than three dozen smaller coal companies have gone under in the last four years.

While the industry has blamed the Obama administration’s clean air rules for its woes, U.S. coal companies in fact are failing due to falling demand from China, a natural gas boom in the U.S. and a string of debt-fueled mergers.

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Some of the most memorable voices are those of people we’ve never met. I’ve never met Susan Bennett, but I talk to her everyday with Siri. Charlie Pellett’s voice will always rattle around the cobwebs of my brain as the voice behind New York’s subway system. Then there’s Elwood Edwards, the voice behind the most iconic phrase of the early internet—AOL’s “You’ve Got Mail.”

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