Instapaper, the service that advertised itself as a ‘save anything’ tool, has been acquired by Pinterest, marking the latest evolution in both companies’ platforms. With Instapaper, users are able to save anything from around the web to read later — articles, recipes, etc — on whatever device they’d like, whether it is their laptop, Kindle, smartphone or whatever else. For … Continue reading
So a couple of Army soldiers thought it was brilliant to spice up a training graphic by adding Hillary Clinton’s photograph to a chart warning about the misuse of classified material.
Nobody outside of Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri, would ever see it, they may have thought when they began using it 18 months ago. The graphic showed “insider” security threats: Clinton, National Security Agency whistleblower Edward Snowden, convicted terrorist shooter Nidal Hasan, and court-martialed Army soldier Chelsea Manning.
Possibly not the best idea they ever came up with.
Inevitably, of course, a fuzzy photo of the graphic found its way outside Fort Leonard Wood, where the Army provides basic soldier training and advanced training for military police, and into the civilian world. There, of course, Clinton is the Democratic nominee for president and enmeshed in an election-year scandal over her handling of classified emails when she was secretary of state.
On Sunday, the graphic was published by The Daily Caller. Very soon after that, it caught the attention of Headquarters, Department of the Army, housed in the Pentagon.
On Monday, the graphic was deleted from the training material at Fort Leonard Wood. And by Monday evening, Maj. Thomas Campbell, spokesman for the Army’s Training and Doctrine Command, had a terse statement for reporters.
The training material was used to teach “best practices for handling classified material and maintaining operational security,” Campbell said in a statement emailed to The Huffington Post. He said the material had not been “reviewed or approved” by the Army and “does not reflect the position of the Army.”
No word on the fate of the soldiers who wanted only to make people pay more attention to an otherwise routine training slide ― and succeeded beyond their wildest imaginings.
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That Visa-based payment ring is no longer limited to athletes who made it to the Olympics in Rio. Anyone can now pre-order an NFC Ring that lets you tap to pay at many store terminals without pulling out your phone or twisting your wrist. Plunk dow…
If you’re not a fan of Apple Pay or Samsung Pay, luckily for you as far as mobile payments are concerned, there are always more options and alternatives, such as Android Pay. The good news is that if you are a Chase customer, support for Google’s mobile payment service could be kicking off on the 7th of September.
This is thanks to a leaked internal memo obtained by Android Police that shows that Android Pay support will be coming in the next couple of weeks. It is pretty straightforward in the sense that on the 7th of September, all Chase cards will support Android Pay, which means that if you have a Visa-branded consumer card, business and/or consumer debit cards, and Chase liquid cards, you’ll be good to go.
Of course there’s no telling if this internal memo is legit, but we have to say that it does look pretty real. Either way we will just have to wait and see if it turns out to be true in the next few weeks, or maybe even sooner as we reckon Chase might want to announce the feature beforehand so that customers can start getting ready by downloading the app from the Google Play Store, which you can go ahead and download if you haven’t done so already.
Chase Will Reportedly Start Supporting Android Pay September 7 , original content from Ubergizmo. Read our Copyrights and terms of use.
If you are one of the estimated 40 million+ Americans who suffer each year from chronic sleep disorders or one of the additional 20 million who experience occasional sleeping problems, you know first hand how the problem can affect your quality of life. A sleep disorder can interfere with your work, your ability to drive and your participation in social activities.
Did you know that many patients who suffer from sleep disorders are also dealing with a problem directly related to disorders in their temporomandibular joint (TMJ)? The TMJ is the joint that attaches your lower jaw, or mandible, to the temporal bone of your head. More precisely, it is where the lower jaw fits into the skull and is supported by the muscles in your face. It is the joint that allows you to chew, swallow and yawn. However, when it isn’t functioning properly it can be the root of a lot of problems.
A disorder in this important joint can cause pain and discomfort in other parts of the body and these TMJ disorder symptoms — including sleep apnea, teeth grinding and tension headaches or migraines — can impact your ability to get a good night’s sleep.
Experts estimate that more than 44 million Americans have one of the several variants of TMJ disorder, or TMD, with women more prone to the condition than men. Pain when chewing is a common symptom, as are other warning signs including limited movement of the jaw or a locking sensation, ringing in the ears, jaw clicking and grating or popping of the jaw joint. These symptoms are often a result of muscle tension and misalignment in the jaw. Although minor symptoms may be relieved with a little rest, hot and cold packs, a soft diet, TMJ massage and/or jaw exercises, persistent symptoms can lead to chronic problems that disrupt your sleep and can become more difficult to treat.
Sleep Apnea
We have all seen the images of tools used to manage sleep apnea that require sufferers to sleep with a CPAP mask, making them look like a super villain or scuba diver. However, obstructive sleep apnea is a potentially serious condition. Sufferers experience obstructed airflow and stop breathing repeatedly during sleep, sometimes for a minute or even longer. This may happen from five times an hour to more than 100 in severe cases. The body is damaged by only 5 of these episodes an hour, and as we learn more, it appears that even minor episodes can cause chronic damage.
When breathing stops, the brain reacts to the situation by producing a rush of adrenalin which in turn quickens the heartbeat. Muscles in the chest then work to resume airflow and the person gasps for a breath and falls back asleep. This scenario is then repeated multiple times during the same night while the person never realizes what is occurring. That’s because they never really “wake up” but only experience a short pause in sleep. This pause destroys the normal sleep cycle cascade which is critically important to health and brain function.
More and more studies are showing a connection between TMD and sleep disturbances. In many sleep apnea cases, a misaligned jaw joint or TMJD, is actually to blame. This is because the tongue’s position is impacted by the alignment of the upper and lower teeth. When the teeth are misaligned, the tongue can block the airway as you sleep. This problem with the jaw alignment or malocclusion can cause a person to wake up frequently throughout the night.
Untreated sleep apnea causes snoring and can lead to much more serious health issues such as high blood pressure and heart disease. In addition, people with sleep apnea do not get the rest they need because, as a preventative reaction, their brains keep them from falling into a deep sleep mode.
Bruxism
Another symptom of TMD is bruxism, commonly called teeth grinding. A misalignment of the jaw can cause you to unconsciously grind or clench your teeth together.
Bruxism causes significant damage to your teeth and is something that is easily corrected with proper physiologic care. You would be surprised at how forcefully we can clench our teeth. As we are waking, the pressure when clamping the teeth together can reach about 200 pounds per square inch. However, when we are asleep, that force can reach more than 700 pounds per square inch!
Because of this force, people with severe bruxism can break their dental fillings and/or cause the outer layers of their tooth enamel to wear away, exposing the highly sensitive dentin. Additionally, this extreme jaw muscle tension can result in complications that include other TMJ disorder symptoms like lockjaw and tension headaches.
Night Headaches
When the bite and the lower jaw are misaligned, muscles are strained which can result in head pain that can mimic a migraine. This pain can be around the forehead, on the back of the head or radiating down the neck.
The same obstructive breathing that causes sleep apnea also can cause nighttime or hypertensive headaches. To put it simply, lack of oxygen can trigger a painful headache.
Many people turn to over-the-counter pain medication for headaches rather than exploring the root cause of the pain. Common signs that a headache is related to a TMJ disorder include:
● A clicking or popping sound emanating from the jaw
● A bite that feels off or does not close properly
● Complaints of snoring at night from your spouse or family
● Forward head posture
Researchers from the University at Buffalo School of Dental Medicine found that headaches related to TMJ dysfunction are frequently misdiagnosed as tension headaches. In a study of 583 patients with frequent headaches, 82 percent of female cases and 17 percent of male cases had symptoms associated with TMD.
Finding Relief
If you think TMD could be causing your sleep problems, here are some tips you can try at home:
● Gently stretch your neck throughout the day
● Improve your posture
● Avoid chewing gum
● Gently massage your jaw muscles
● Commit to a soft diet
● Try to use other home remedies to lessen the severity of a TMD flare up
● Learn to combat stress with exercise or meditation. (Stress can exacerbate pain.)
● Move the jaw gently from side to side 10 times and then allow it to rest for a minute. Do this for 5 sets a few times a day. This will help to stretch the muscles of mastication.
Although the exercises above may help, if the system is not physiologically correct, the best advice is to get it corrected. The headaches can start as a nuisance but can eventually become incapacitating.
In my experience as a educator for TMJ dentists and clinical director at LVI Global, up to 85% of TMJ disorder symptoms can be resolved without prescription drugs or surgery. Instead, we return the jaw muscles to their natural place of physiologic rest which allows the system to function correctly. Treatment through neuromuscular dentistry strives to reduce or resolve symptoms by focusing on fixing the muscles that support the bite. The result is a dramatic lessening of muscle pain and in many cases, a better night’s sleep.
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Two Idaho women were arrested on child endangerment charges this week after a video reportedly posted on Facebook appeared to show four adults smoking pot in a room with child, at one point blowing smoke into the boy’s face.
According to KPVI, the alleged incident occurred on the Fort Hall Indian Reservation.
A report about the incident by East Idaho News includes a clip of the video, in which one woman says about the boy, while laughing, “No more getting high? He’s all blazing it.”
Fort Hall police have not released the women’s names or mug shots. Investigators are reportedly working on arrest warrants for the other two adults who were present.
Fort Hall Police told The Huffington Post they are not releasing any additional information about the case at this time.
It’s hardly uncommon for law enforcement to find out about crimes via social media. One Oregon teen was arrested in 2013 after posting a status about driving drunk, and a drug dealer was caught in London in 2012 because he posted a Facebook photo of himself with a President Barack Obama wax figure at Madame Tussauds.
A Florida mom also posted a photo of a baby with a bong on the social network in 2010, leading to an investigation by the Florida Department of Children and Families.
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Like Robert Schenkkan did with “All the Way,” J.T. Rodgers shows the insane amount of wrangling and linguistic gymnastics involved in enacting real political change in “Oslo”. In place of soaring speeches, we get secret walks and after-hours drinking sessions that blur the line between enemy and friend and, more importantly, begin to shed the cloak of hatred that has obscured the humanity on both sides. The title refers to the 1993 Oslo peace accords, which most people will remember as a photo of Yitzhak Rabin and Yasser Arafat shaking hands with Bill Clinton presiding over the ceremonious occasion. All three are largely absent from this meticulously brilliant and disarmingly funny masterpiece that gives you a fly-on-the-wall peek into one of the historic negotiations between the Israelis and Palestinians. All previous talks, including the Camp David accords, were between Israel and another Arab country that would claim to speak on behalf of the Palestinians before selling them out for their own country’s interests.
Terje Rød-Larsen, who was then the head of the Fafo institute, believed there was an opportunity for peace if he could just get both sides in a room and let them get to know each other without the usual confines of having a mediator. Played with restrained eccentricity and deep warmth by Jefferson Mays, he’s propelled by an unwavering idealism that never feels naïve. Throughout the show’s two-and-a-half hours, time seems to speed up and there’s a gathering momentum that the world indeed can be changed for the better. I kept thinking about the George Bernard Shaw quote from “Man and Superman”: “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”
Kyle Craft conjures both Bob Dylan’s tight folk phrasing and David Bowie’s expansive sense of wonder. His debut album, “Dolls of Highland,” opens with a rollicking piano riff and the energy sustains throughout the album’s dozen keys-driven tracks. I caught him play a short but thrilling set at Mercury Lounge the other week. He apologized frequently for his voice between songs, but even in a cold-stricken state, his pipes are undeniably powerful and exude the beauty and painful longing of songs like “Three Candles,” in which he sings “all that you had to give me was hell,” complete with Dylanesque harmonica interludes. Craft, who grew up in Louisiana but now lives in Portland, brings an authentic southern blues sensibility to glam and folk rock but what makes “Dolls” one of the best albums of the year is his ability to transform his influences into a sound that’s all his own.
Sometimes eating and drinking out in this city can feel like a staycation. This notion crept up on me the other week at the recently opened cocktail bar, BlackTail, which is molded after a prohibition era American Ex-pat bar in Cuba. The high-ceilinged, dark wood-drenched space is anchored by a reproduction of John Vanderlyn’s painting “Landing of Columbus.” The bar’s name comes from the planes that well-heeled New Yorkers would take for boozy weekend getaways, and it’s the brainchild of Dead Rabbit owners Sean Muldoon and Jack McGarry. The offerings include a mixologist’s take on a rum and coke that transforms the tired island drink into a concoction worth savoring.
The “middleterranean” cuisine at Green Fig is chef Gabriel Israel’s take on modern Israeli food. Housed in Yotel, the restaurant features trees that sprout up through the middle of tables, giving an earthy, elegant and tranquil atmosphere to the feast that follows. Some of the many highlights include a mezze of hummus, tahini foam and charred eggplant served with a housemade flat bread called “laffa,” a carrot steak with mozzarella and basil leaves, octopus carpaccio, and a skin-charred sea bream.
There are some places in the city I’ve walked by a thousand times without ever experiencing. The Grand Hyatt Hotel next to Grand Central is one. The building was a landmark on childhood trips on the crosstown bus, but I only stepped inside for the first time recently for their boozy brunch at New York Central Bar and Kitchen. The lobster benedict was even better than it sounds but had steep competition with mac and cheese carbonara, smoked salmon flatbread, and a bruleed raisin French toast that we had for dessert. There was also a deceptively simple cucumber mint gazpacho to start, which cleansed the palate as it perked it up.
I never noticed the Skylark, a rooftop bar and lounge just south of Times Square, until I dropped by to escape the insufferable humidity last week. While looking out the large windows across the Hudson River to New Jersey, I enjoyed munching on some shrimp and corn fritters while basking the air-conditioned swank digs.
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Given the extraordinary rates of intimate partner violence globally, when an identity is pathologized as one that is insatiably sexual then it’s really no surprise that bisexual people are more likely than gay or straight people to experience intimate partner violence (IPV), but it is still a tragedy.
One study of 2010 found that 61.1 percent of bisexual women had experienced rape, physical violence, or stalking by a partner at some point in their lives and that’s even though only 2.2 percent of respondents identified as bisexual. Straight women had experienced such violence at 35 percent while 43.8 percent of lesbian respondents had. The study was conducted over six years ago and yet little has been made of it.
Few studies on the experiences of bisexual people exist anyway but those that do regularly point to an alarming truth that bisexual people, of all the sexualities, are at a greater risk of experiencing oppression, discrimination and hatred. No clearer is this shown by the prevalence of the experience of intimate partner violence by bisexual people.
The pervasiveness of biphobia and bierasure is such that it has tainted completely what it means to be bisexual so that even coming out to a partner can be a terrifying prospect where one may worry about what comes next. Coming out to a partner at all can be an incredibly isolating experience. Bisexual people are treated as beings that are willing to partake in any sexual activity and receive any sexual attention. In short: bisexual bodies are not theirs, they are the property of everyone else.
The culture of sexualizing bisexuality means that it can create a whole host of issues in a relationship. Partners often react with confusion and think that means they can never satisfy the person with they are with , which is reflective of our poor attitudes towards relationships and sex in general but it also runs far deeper than that. Coming out as bisexual is unfortunately often a dangerous act. Bisexuality is seen as an excuse for straight and gay partners to assert controlling behavior. Checking through messages, demanding that no alone time is spent with a person of any gender and isolating one from friends suddenly becomes the norm because bisexuality is still read as wanting to have sex with anyone and everyone even though this disregards the logic that no one would ever expect a heterosexual person to fancy everyone of a different gender to them.
A person’s bisexuality is seen therefore as a justification for routine harassment and controlling behavior which constitutes the definition of intimate partner violence. Such behavior often cycles and as the stats indicate, bisexual people are at far higher risk of intimate partner violence (including but not limited to emotional abuse, physical abuse and/or sexual abuse). Bisexuality is seen as something that is needed to be controlled. All of society’s hang ups on sex and how it is shamed and associated with sin is peddled onto people who experience attraction to people of any gender. Biphobia in itself is a subversive act of control as it seeks to erase identities and determine who a person can be attracted to and so therefore society is already weighted against bisexual people with regards to relationships.
Biphobia in itself is a subversive act of control as it seeks to erase identities and determine who a person can be attracted to and so therefore society is already weighted against bisexual people with regards to relationships.
It’s a problem exacerbated by that there are very few outlets for support. The only charity for LGBTQ+ people who experience IPV or domestic violence in the UK has recently closed. It was a vital service precisely because mainstream organizations have found to fail their LGBTQ+ service users. There’s not enough understanding of the issues LGBTQ+ people face specifically and the feminist arguments surrounding domestic violence has pushed the idea that only white, cis heterosexual mothers can be victims of intimate partner violence and only cis, heterosexual men can be perpetrators. It’s an inherently racist argument that empowers many women but at the cost of an awful lot of oppressed people who are already marginalized in society and have few outlets of support.
Sexualisation of bodies is also something that many transgender people, disabled people and people of color will face, and this risks being particularly heightened if they also are bisexual. Our society seeks to suppress anything that doesn’t fit our narrow ideals of moral virtue or of beauty, and so disabilities and race are something that is repeatedly sexualized (as shown throughout many anecdotes from inside the LGBTQ+ community). Furthermore, they’re also facets of identity where people seem to think its justifiable to erase humanity. People of color, disabled people, neurodivergent people are routinely treated as less human. Their feelings and humanity are disregarded and this leads to a dangerous road to ignoring consent and autonomy. The combination of elements behind ‘othering’ certain people, particularly for multiple facets of identity, puts certain people at a far higher risk of experiencing intimate partner violence. Consent is seen as something not to be afforded to oppressed people, and in many cases a violent or abusive partner will tell their partner/spouse that they are deserving of what they are experiencing because nobody else would possibly want them. It seems bisexual people (particularly if experiencing multiple oppressions) are supposed to be grateful for the abuse they receive.
The state of the economy and personal finances also have a major impact. Inflation, the cost of living (specifically rents) can mean that when one is in an abusive relationship it can be financially impossible to leave. It’s a barrier that many LGBTQ+ people face when poverty is still a major issue for the community. People of color are also more likely to live in poverty than white people, and disabled people can face huge financial pressures to receive the treatment and care that they need (and they may also be dependent on a partner who can travel for such things such as a prescription). Given the likelihood of so many bisexual people to experience poverty it inevitably means that those who experience intimate partner violence have little options to exit such a relationship.
The constant erosion of bisexual identity has therefore compounded creating a situation where bisexual people aren’t deemed worthy of basic respect while increasingly the likelihood of experiencing discrimination, oppression and poverty and thereby making it exceptionally difficult to leave a partner who is abusive and/or violent. Until bisexuality is accepted as a valid identity by society and not just treated as a coded label for being easy to get into bed, then bisexual people are always going to face the realities of having their lives sexualized, demeaned and of experiences of abuse by an intimate partner being dismissed and unrecognized. Biphobia and bierasure are sadly rarely ever talked about and yet the consequences of such prevalent hatred are clearly having a major impact on bisexual people and their safety.
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Now that same sex marriage is the law of the land, engaged gay couples are going to be having some serious chats about money if they want their love to survive the ever after. Before your walk down the aisle make sure you have “The Financial Talk.”
By David Rae, CFP® Accredited Investment Fiduciary™
Used to be when a gay couple had ‘The Financial Talk’ en route to commitment, both guys were nervous as they went full disclosure on their HIV status. Whatever these happened to be, they worked out how their lives would accommodate their situations then and into the future.
Today when a committed gay couple en route to marriage has ‘The Financial Talk’, both guys are nervous as they go full disclosure about their financial statuses. Whatever these happen to be, you’re going to want to work out in advance how your lives will accommodate your situations now and into the future.
Hear me now, ignorance of your partner’s finances is not bliss and certainly not a viable ingredient for wedded bliss. Yet many couples embark on commitment in the dark about each other’s salaries, spending, savings, expenses and budgets simply because they dread the idea of ‘The Financial Talk’. I know, I know, ‘The Financial Talk’ about money is right up there with invasive medical procedures in the not-fun sweepstakes. But not unlike colonoscopies and root canals, procrastination can be harmful. Do it now before the wedding so that you and your marriage can move forward in fitness and in health.
Fairy tales vs. financial realities
OK, you’ve met your soul mate and can hardly believe your luck that he wants to be yours, now and forever. But one of the biggest mistakes anyone can make is getting swept up in the dream of a huge fairy tale wedding and ignoring legal responsibilities and financial realities. Rushing to say “I do!” without getting on the same page financially can lead to horrific results; debt, discord, divorce and EWSD (empty wallet stress disorder).
The issues of marriage are complex but far and away the number one topic all couples fight about most is money. Sadly, the greater the financial strain on a couple the greater their chances of ending up divorced.
Why should we have ‘The Financial Talk’ before the wedding?
The sooner after you two have decided to make it legal, the better. Sure, the conversation may initially be uncomfortable but it’s going to a lot more uncomfortable down the line if you have to dig yourself out of debt or if you can’t pay your bills because your husband just ‘invested’ in multiple sets of 1000-thread count sheets.
Where do we begin?
A good place to start the conversation is the astute Financial Compatibility Quiz by Jeff Motske of Trilogy Financial. Take the free quiz here:
Talk about your background, how you were raised and how relate to money. I grew up in a household with extreme savers, where I know many other people grew up with parents who didn’t stop spending until their credit cards were maxed out. You want to get a sense of how each of you approaches money. What did your parents teach you about it? Spending, philanthropy, saving? Don’t feel bad if you’ve never thought about these things before, most people haven’t thought about it for themselves, let alone for a potential spouse. But it’s an invaluable exercise.
What issues should we discuss and seek to reach an agreement?
Once you’ve taken the quiz, here are a few topics you’ll want to address. Write your answers down along with the date so you revisit the document later to measure your progress.
1. What are your financial priorities as a couple?
Even if you’re double income no kids, that doesn’t mean you should rush and spend every penny. What do you want to accomplish? What are your financial goals? Do you want to buy a house? Retire or even retire early? How much do you need in your rainy day fund?
2. What your plans for retirement?
How and when do you want day work to become an option for both of you? Is your goal financial independence or do you plan to keep working as long as you love your job? What is your financial fall back plan if you are unable to continue working?
3. Where do you stand today?
It’s great to think long term and talk big picture, but full disclosure involves the day-to-day nuts and bolts as well. This means coming clean on your credit rating, student loans, credit card debts, trust funds, retirement accounts, cosigns on outstanding loans, settlements or other debts, wills, and what, if anything, is still in the pawnshop.
4. Should we get a prenuptial agreement?
Rich or poor, the pre-nup conversation is never fun. If both of you are young and entering the marriage without much in the way of assets, you may be able to skip this. (But I tend to err on the side of caution particularly because in my hometown of L.A., finances can change spectacularly overnight. Savvy shopkeepers know that that kid in filthy sneakers and torn jeans may have just closed a $50 million picture deal.)
For sure, if there are significant assets and/or children (or pets . . . ask any divorce attorney, people fight to the death over pets as in ‘Take the kids, you moron, but I’m getting the DOG!’) you’ll want to add the layer of protection a pre-nup gives you.
A monthly Financial Date Night? Really?
If tying the knot is in your future, or even if you are already married, commit to a monthly Financial Date Night with your significant other. The more documents you have in writing (or have at your fingertips by computer) – such as bank statements, credit cards bills, or investment statement- the better and more constructive the conversation will be. Reward yourself with a cocktail after the conversation but you might want to stay off the sauce during it.
Having regular, open and frank discussions about money and finances with your spouse will increase your chances of having a long and prosperous marriage.
On top of the bottom line
Few couples agree on every single aspect of every financial topic, of course. But sometimes the reality of how little financially a pair has in common can lead people to rethink their engagements. This is not necessarily a bad thing. If you don’t see eye to eye on your future, you may be entering a doomed marriage. Don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to be 100% in agreement, but at least you need to share priorities and be willing to work together for your goals as individuals as well as your goals as a couple.
The sooner you get on the same page financially the better. Don’t wait until the wedding date has been set; that’s when you might feel pressured to not ask the tough questions or to ignore troubling information from your future spouse.
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If you procrastinate and don’t follow the financial roadmap on your financial plan, even the most expert guidance on the planet is irrelevant. The best advice I can give to couples is to get your head out of the sand and start building your financial lives together now, no matter how long you’ve been together. Consider contacting a professional who can help with your specific situation and time frame. Putting a plan in place and saving for your goals means that you won’t outlive your financial resources and are well positioned to live happily ever after.
Until Next Time and as always Be Fiscally Fabulous, and remember Gay Money Matters.
– – –
Invite to talk about ‘The Talk’
I’m not nearly done with this topic yet. Do you and your financé or spouse (or anyone you know) have a particularly funny or insightful story about money disclosures and the trials, tribulations and trauma of ‘The Talk’? Let me know because I’d love to hear it and I’m sure everyone else would too.
DAVID RAE, CFP®, AIF® is a Los Angeles-based retirement planner with Trilogy Financial Services. He married his husband in 2014. He has been helping friends of the LGBT community reach their financial goals for over a decade. He is also a regular contributor to the Advocate Magazine, Investopedia and Huffington Post. Follow him on Facebook, or via his website www.davidraefp.com
Article original Published on the Financial Planner LA Blog ‘The Talk”
Securities and advisory services offered through National Planning Corporation (NPC), Member FINRA/SIPC, a Registered Investment Adviser. Additional advisory services offered through Trilogy Capital, a Registered Investment Adviser. Trilogy Capital, Trilogy Financial and NPC are separate and unrelated companies.
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“Love your enemies,” Jesus said.
But does the daunting concept really apply to our hostile politics today? Can Democrats love conservatives? Is it possible for Hillary Clinton supporters to — gasp — love Donald Trump? Can Trump be loved even by Republicans who are convinced he is destroying their party?
Yes, actually.
As a staff member at Yale Divinity School and as a secular person who has been unpacking the central teachings of Jesus for an upcoming book, I have come to see ways in which this principle can be applied today. Even to the inveterate commandment-breaker and bad-behavior-modeler Donald Trump.
It helps if we get clear about the meaning of “love” in the biblical context. John J. Collins, a prolific Yale scholar who teaches a popular class on biblical values and their application to public issues today, reminds me that the word conveys something quite different from what comes to mind for most of us.
This biblical love, Collins points out, it not a surge of affection or a romantic attraction to someone (feelings, not incidentally, that can change and fade). Rather, it can be thought of as a commitment to and regard for our fellow human beings — even those not like us and not on our side, politically or culturally speaking — and refusing to reduce them to their worst ideas and behavior.
Does “loving” one’s political rivals mean ceding elections to them, or abandoning our own principles and policies to push theirs instead? Of course not. If we believe Trump’s values and politics would harm the country and the people who populate it, “love” compels us to resist his election and the advancement of what he stands for.
What does this love of enemy imply? I find it’s easier to answer that with respect to Trump supporters than Trump himself. This is not to endorse the bigotry frequently on display at Trump rallies, or the “lock her up!” vitriol and threats of violence against Clinton. There is no place for these. But an empathetic look at Trump supporters surfaces the frustration and bewilderment of a subset of the country that has felt abandoned by rapid economic and social upheaval and politics-as-usual.
To “love” them is to tease out what might be legitimate about their grievances and to want them to have decent, dignified lives. It means relating to them in a way conducive to a change of heart whereby that heart might eventually change — might store more than resentment against immigrants, minorities, and “politically correct” liberals.
What of Trump himself? Bible scholars will tell you that an important aspect of Jesus-style love is wanting the best for others, even those you label “enemy.” In Collins’ view, this suggests wanting for Trump a newfound ability to resist firing off mean-spirited tweets and ill-conceived ideas that malign other people and reveal his own lack of knowledge and character.
“Loving” Trump also implies wanting the best for him personally even as we thwart his political desires. For a narcissistic power-seeker, winning the presidential election would only feed his worst tendencies. His massive and problematic ego — “I alone can fix it,” as he boasts when discussing the country’s problems–would likely soar to destructive new heights were he to occupy the most powerful office in the land.
Better for Trump’s character — better for his “soul,” if you will — that he experience and accept a very public loss in this biggest contest of his life and spend his remaining years devoting himself to ends more edifying than inflating his superiority and degrading his rivals.
“Loving” Trump means resisting any urge to clamor for his imprisonment or execution, as some of his supporters have demanded for Clinton. No need for any symbolic walk of shame like that endured by Cersei Lannister in Game of Thrones. (We know what that led to: She sought and got revenge on a massively destructive scale.)
The funny thing about loving our political enemies is that the minute we change our regard for them, they morph before our eyes. They remain our political opponents, but they are no longer our “enemies” — and no longer deserving of the treatment the word implies.
They become, instead, human, and deserving of all that implies. Even if their name is Donald Trump.
This post originally appeared in USA Today on August 21, 2016.
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