If you’re at a party or at a bar or at a club or on the street or just living this thing we called life, you should probably never ever say these pick up lines. They’re cringe-inducingly awful. They make you consider asexuality. They make you want to never meet new people again. More »
Magicians guard their secrets with ferocity, although maybe not for the reasons you’d think. Sure, it’s important to maintain an air of mystery and to prevent copycats. But as this Funny or Die exclusive shows, it’s equally important not to publicize just what—and who—you had to go through to get those special powers. More »
What all women love: yogurt. What women secretly love: birth control. So why not combine the two to give yogurt a little crunch and birth control a little low fat, creamy snack. Birth Control on the bottom is the solution just for girls! More »
Sometimes people judge people by the color of their skin, sometimes people make fun of people because of their race. That ain’t right! But no matter who you are and no matter what color your skin is, you’ll always avoid the guy with the dick on his face. And that’s totally okay. More »
Remember: It’s not the length of the comedy video that matters, it’s how hard it makes you laugh. Besides, you didn’t want to spend more than five seconds watching a sex toy fly around the room anyway, did you? More »
This Christmas, you’ll have your pick of not one but two righteously depressing movies hitting the theaters. But between Django Unchained and Les Miserables, who’s the saddest sack of all? Samuel L. Jackson and Anne Hathaway try to settle this once and for all. More »
You think David Blaine is bad? It could be worse. You could be stuck with the Middle Earth street magic stylings of Gandalf. Where’s your ring of invisibility when you need it? More »
Any necktied-up guy who’s “finding himself” while growing up quicker than he ever imagined dreams for a girl like Zooey Deschanel or Natalie Portman to spice up his boring, stuffy life with their zany spontaneity. And though those girls mostly exist in indie movies and quirky TV shows and independent coffee shops in Brooklyn/Portland, there’s always the hope of paying a prostitue to fill that hole. More »
Funnyman and former PC John Hodgman has a hilarious solution to survive the upcoming Mayan Apocalypse on December 21, 2012 and it involves more urine and mayonnaise than is healthy. Still, you don’t want blood waves and a dog army to kill you, right? Enjoy. It’s so sensible! [YouTube via Laughing Squid] More »
Whether you love Zooey Deschanel’s New Girl quirkfest, hate it, or have never even heard of it, I think we can all agree that it’s much improved by swapping out the twee thirtysomething with a crass octogenarian. More »
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