Hasta La Gadget!

LovePalz, the virtual sex gadget designed for long-distance couples, has finally set a launch date for both its products and Web-based control center. On March 29, you can get your hands (and other parts) on Hera and Zeus, the two devices designed by Taipei-based company Winzz.

The titillating wireless gadget has been generating buzz since announcing pre-orders in September. Winzz says that they received over 5,000 pre-orders within two months, back when the LovePalz set of two devices was available for $94.95 each. Now that the pre-order special has ended, each piece, called the Hera and the Zeus, is available separately for $189. Despite the higher price, Winzz reports that they have sold 1,800 items since February 28.

Lovers can control their LovePalz devices during a cybersex session by using the LovePalz Web site, which also has a mobile version. A spokeswoman told me that the company is still working on launching a LovePalz iOS app, but progress has been delayed because of the App Store’s restrictions on selling adult-themed content.

The Hera resembles a dildo, while the Zeus is like a sleeker, high-tech version of the infamous Fleshlight. (The names are interesting because although ancient Greek deities/husband-and-wife Zeus and Hera were often separated by long distances, that’s because Zeus was off having sex with everyone in the universe besides Hera).

Both toys have multiple pressure and speed sensors that work without buttons and allow partners to feel what each other is doing to them in real time. The devices are waterproof, rechargeable, and are engineered with an air pump and automatic piston. Why, you ask? Well, the air pump means the Hera toy can “get bigger when you are bigger,” as the LovePalz Web site puts it, and the air pump allows the Zeus to “tighten up.” The company ensures users that it has tested the air pump many times to make sure “the speed is ideal and stops when it’s getting too tight,” so there will be no news headlines screaming “LovePalz, the genius of penis explosion.”

The LovePalz’s painstaking engineering sets it apart, but there have certainly been other virtual sex toys. The Virtual Hole and Stick set (yes, that was its real name) was designed back in 2007 as one of the earliest “teledildonics” products. Web site HighJoy bills itself as “the premier online destination where you can find the necessary tools that allow you to control another’s personal massager over the Internet.” Other virtual sex toys have been a bit more one-sided, like the RealTouch, which allows users to interact with porn.

Sex. We all have it, and most of us enjoy it.

But what do you do when your partner (assuming you only have one) moves out of town or goes on a business trip? Well, you could buy the tiniest Bluetooth headsets in the world and talk all day long (like Pam and Jim from The Office), or you could sext all day and FaceTime all night (with the investment of a Swivl), or… you could buy this LovePalz contraption.

This fascinating Dinglehopper is a WiFi connected love machine, that lets both the top and the bottom (I’ll refrain from using genders here — to each his/her own) simulate some sexy time. The two parts include a “Hera” for the bottom, which looks a lot like a Dildo, and a Zeus for the top. As each lover pleasures themselves with the toys, their partner feels their motions in real-time.

An app is also in play here, as the component that matches up your Zeus with his/her Hera (other partners can be added and paired with, if that’s how you roll). Unfortunately, the app hasn’t been submitted or approved by Apple in the App Store.

The LovePalz gadgetry works with multiple pressure and speed sensors (in both the Hera and Zeus), so that you can actually feel what your lover is doing to you in real time, even if there happen to be miles and oceans between the two of you. And, as expected, it’s completely waterproof. They are both rechargeable and come with an air pump and automatic piston.

As a duo, the LovePalz setup costs $94.95, but since the project was rejected from Kickstarter, the LovePalz team has created their own website for taking pre-orders and donations. In other words, the product isn’t quite out the door yet, but with enough horny long-distance lovers chipping in, perhaps it will come soon (#thatswhatshesaid).

[via Huffington Post]