Waddaup playa, you tired of this 14-hour-a-day Salary Man drudgery? Well, your ticket to the boardroom has just arrived in an easy-to-open cellophane wrapper. Crunch through those delicious flash-dried noodles, rack up a seasoned fatty, and show Elaine in marketing what she’s been missing with Boss Noodles.
The Talbott family has suffered a tragic loss. Everything the family had saved for years, all of it disappeared in an instant. Now as The Onion reports, they set to the task of rebuilding their lives after the huge setback of a crashed DVR.
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After two weeks of hearing about sports you’ve never cared to follow in the past four years, you’ve probably wondered why the short track skaters don’t just … you know … throw a blue shell at the end? And here we can see what would happen if they did.
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Space is beautiful. Space is terrifying. IKEA is mostly just terrifying, especially when you get lost. Director Daniel Hubbard hilariously spoofed Alfonso Cuaron’s Gravity by setting it inside the expansive world of IKEA. At over 346,000 square feet and absolutely no sense of direction, it sure feels endless. The parody trailer nails the IKEA shopping experience, the frantic cries of Sandra Bullock, and the overall tension of Gravity. IKEA is Earth’s equivalent of getting lost in space.
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So though the premise of a man falling in love with the voice of his phone’s operating system is a little ridiculous, Spike Jonze’s movie Her actually looks wonderful and maybe even believable. But duh! Who wouldn’t fall in love with Scarlett Johansson’s voice? Just hearing the huskiness makes you imagine the bombshell that is Scarlett Jo. So what if we replaced Johansson’s voice with something more robotically realistic… like Siri’s. Yeah, it would be pretty funny.
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You already know what’s going to happen. Tim Cook will get on stage next week, Jony Ive will wax poetic about chamfered edges, Phil Schiller will be his jolly self and a new iPhone will be announced to the world. It’ll look a lot like the iPhone we already know but Apple will find some way to make it seem as if it’ll change everything. The video puts it best, "to create the new iPhone, we started with a design we really loved and then… stopped."
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Cigarettes are bad for you. No one—not even the guy smoking on the street corner right now—will argue that. But e-cigarettes are just ridiculous looking. It looks like you’re playing with a dumb toy that lights up and annoys people because you get to smoke vapor indoors. Heck, James Dean couldn’t even make e-cigs look cool. So let’s make it look even dumber! Jordan Morris upped the douche factor of e-cigs in this video above. [Jordan Miller via Geekosystem]
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Have you noticed this trend in YouTube? You watch a video on YouTube. Maybe it’s a minute, maybe it’s two. Maybe you laughed, maybe you didn’t. But then there are 5 minutes of additional post-video video that tells you to either subscribe to their other channel, add them on Facebook, tweet out a shoutout, click on their next video, see what they’re up to, shill for a sponsor and maybe even do all of the above.
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Even though YouTube is the greatest tool ever created to waste time, it’s also the biggest open house for gigabytes of completely useless moving crap. And even though YouTube can make any video viral, it’s also responsible for the onslaught of YouTube celebrities. YouTube giveth and taketh away. This clever animation video by Jello Apocalypse exposes the dumbness that surrounds all the awesomeness of YouTube. You know the YouTube tricks: thumbnails, comments, ads, the front page and so on. [JelloApocalypse]
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