We live in an increasingly eco-conscious world. With organic food, local crop shares and sustainable business, we can give back to our communities. So why not give a green makeover to one of the oldest trades out there? That’s right, we’re talking about kidnapping—the sustainable way!
     |
The Onion‘s Peter K. Rosenthal takes a look back at Steven Spielberg’s 1982 classic E.T., and comes away with a less-than-glowing review. The movie, Rosenthal maintains, did viewers a great disservice, and missed a crucial opportunity, in never once showing the creature that gave the movie its title. Confused? Just watch and all will be revealed.
| |
This week, The Onion takes a look at the NYPD’s most controversial tactic: stop and kiss. Tensions run high between supporters and opponents in the debate over this police activity.
| |
With a movie adaptation like The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, it’s easy to get swept up in the pop culture hype, and lose sight of what’s really important: how hot are the boys? Fortunately, Philip K. Rosenthal is here with a deeper look.
| |
The horrible question everyone should never have to ask themselves: what if? What if you studied a little more? What if you worked a little harder? What if you exercised and tried to be more healthy? What if you actually asked that person out on a date? What if you took a vacation? What if you never stayed up late at night and masturbated to Carmen Electra?
| |
Do you know how to get the truth out of people? Not from some sort of movie truth serum shot or on a late night talk show or even in a conversation between two ferns, the way to pry the obscene truth is to stick them in a hot tub and feed them drinks. Life is so much clearer when everything is bubbling around you.
| |
Homeland is coming back this Sunday! After an uneven second season, what’s the third season going to be like? Should we hope for something as brilliant as the first even though it might be unrealistic or should we just root for Homeland… The Musical to happen on Broadway. After watching the hilarious video above, I think we should hope that The Musical version will happen.
| |
Other than being beautiful (not that Samuel L. is beautiful) and rich and powerful, being a celebrity must be really crappy. Can you imagine all the strangers rushing up to you? Can you imagine all the weird demands that ‘fans’ have? Can you imagine all the delusional people blaming you for doing your job? Samuel L. Jackson can.
| |
The iPhone 5C not cheap enough for you? Funny or Die says Apple should make a legitimately crappy phone called the iPhone 5F. All it does is play snake, tether, charge without a lightning cable and let you use your friend’s iPhones. You wanted cheap, right?
| |
It’s probably a thankless job working a sperm bank since no matter how professional you keep things and no matter how numb your are to creeps and no matter how much paperwork you file and no matter how much pornography you offer, you’ll still run into awkward situations. It’s like a ruder version of working at the DMV where the people who work at the DMV are your customers.
| |
This is site is run by Sascha Endlicher, M.A., during ungodly late night hours. Wanna know more about him? Connect via Social Media by jumping to about.me/sascha.endlicher.
