Hasta La Gadget!

In 2009, Air America relieved Marc Maron of his duties for a third and final time. He’d co-hosted the station’s drive time show Morning Sedition before being given the reigns on his own titular evening program. By show three, he was relegated to the station’s kitchen, joining fellow Boston comedian Sam Seder for the short-lived web video show Breakroom Live. Naturally, Maron did what any down-on-his-luck radio host would in his place: he started a podcast. “I think in the beginning, I just needed to talk to someone,” he explains. “I was going through a very difficult time. I’d certainly been humbled by love and by show business.”

WTF wasn’t the first podcast by any means, but over the last few years, it’s become one of the most popular, thanks to Maron’s frank and engaging conversations with comedians and other show biz types. More recently, the program has served as the basis for Maron, an IFC show starring the host as himself, which will enter its second season next year. On this second episode of Peripheral Vision, we sit down with the host to discuss the power of the medium, the trouble with Twitter and making a name for yourself from the comfort of your own garage.

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When we said that Selfless Portraits, an awesome website where strangers drew pictures of other stranger’s Facebook profiles, is something we should all totally get behind, we definitely didn’t mean this: Joey Jordan took one of those random Facebook profile pictures and got it tattooed on his butt cheek. Now some guy’s face from Brazil is on his ass forever.

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I don’t even know what this is. It’s not as batshit insane as McAfee’s guide to uninstalling McAfee Antivirus which improbably makes it even weirder. Like McAfee has reached another level of ridiculousness by being more calculated in his ridiculousness. Anyways, it’s pitched as a tell all by McAfee but eventually he wants you to join his School of Badass. This guy, man. [

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Look, we all know how it is. You’re at work, but your mind is somewhere else. It happens. You can’t be too hard on yourself. Ideally your lack of attention wouldn’t result in the wrongful demolition of two houses, but you’re only human, right?

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Greetings, Earthling. I come bearing glad tidings of the Hyetis Crossbow, a smartwatch with built-in mechanical movement and a 41-megapixel “life camera” designed to record your every motion and emotion. The watch comes to you from the Deepest Corners Of Outer Space where it was (most probably) hatched from the egg of a cyborg lifeform. It costs one thousand and two hundred of your so-called “Earth Dollars.” We have written “Swiss Made” on the back to fool your puny minds.

Designed by those who brought you AK Geneve, another space-themed watch line, the Crossbow has a very small, 12mm mechanical movement built-in alongside a number of smartwatch features including accelerometers, an altimeter, Bluetooth, WiFi, NFC, and GPS – all of the primitive technologies you ape men still use on your horrid planet. It has two batteries built in so you can record your entire brutish life using the built-in camera.

It also has biometric sensors because, as we well know, you humans still pump liquids through your meatsacks. It will ship in December 2013 and the creator, one Arny Kapshitzer, promises that if anything changes in the feature line-up those who pre-order the watch will be notified. It is, to be clear, very expensive. This we cannot explain.

So please consider the purchase of the Crossbow. It is far more intelligent than you, to be sure, and, if you wear one, we Andromedans will not enslave you as our pack animals on the gas mines of Xarxis 7. Those who own a Crossbow will instead be used as our pets on our home planet of Zorb and be given leave to mate – under close supervision and with a great deal of genetic control – to maintain the propagation of your ridiculous species. At $1,200, this is a bargain.