Cellphones Totally Don’t Cause Cancer, Says Danish Study

The only way a cellphone will kill you is if you use it to text while driving. Photo Charlie Sorrel

For those who dismiss mobile phone radiation studies because the sample groups are too small, prepare for some good news. New research says that cellphones don’t cause cancer. The sample size? All of Denmark.

Researchers at the Institute of Cancer Epidemiology in Copenhagen studies the entire adult population of Denmark (people 30 and over), going back to those born after 1925. They then compared the occurrence of tumors in non phone users, and cellphone subscribers.

Even when the longest subscription holders (those using phones for 13 years straight) were compared with non-subscribers, occurrences of cancer were almost equal.

Another followup study, running to 2007, showed the same results. The researchers’ conclusion:

In this update of a large nationwide cohort study of mobile phone use, there were no increased risks of tumours of the central nervous system, providing little evidence for a causal association

I particularly like that this study includes figures from before cellphones even existed, so the radiation worriers can’t even claim that the evil phone rays are in the air, affecting users and non-users alike.

Of course, there will surely be people who choose not to believe in the results, despite the fact that you can’t choose to “believe” in facts because they are, well, facts.

So there you go, people. Finally you can ditch that dorky Bluetooth headset. You brain isn’t being microwaved after all.

Use of mobile phones and risk of brain tumors: update of Danish cohort study [BMJ via The Guardian]

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