Oh! It tickles! The laydeez love them some designer fuzz
I go to great and painstaking lengths to keep my chin covered with 1980s-style “designer stubble.” What’s designer stubble, you ask? Well, normal stubble is what is grown by overweight men in stained wife-beaters whilst they sit around the house drinking light beer and generally not having a job.
Designer stubble, on the other hand, is sported by debonair gents like myself. It lends us an air of sophistication and mystery, and hints at a freedom from daily shaving not enjoyed by the average cubicle jockey.
All this takes work. I rub a Philips trimmer over my grizzled visage once a week, taking care to shave the neck very close (this is the only real difference between designer and slob). It’s quite an effort, with all the changing of cut depth to perfectly sculpt the results.
Which is why I now have half an eye on this Remington Touch Control Beard and Stubble Trimmer. Sure, “shaving” once a week is lazy enough, but to do it without pressing any buttons or turning any dials? Heaven.
The Remington also sports self-sharpening titanium blades, charges via USB (actually kind of useless in the bathroom), a motorized comb (sounds dangerous) and — most importantly — can cut at a ridiculous 175 different lengths: from 0.4 to 18mm. This makes my Philips, which runs from 1-18mm in huge 1mm steps, seem like I’m scraping my face with a flint.
On the other hand, my trimmer has a built-in vacuum cleaner which minimizes cleanup.
The Touch Control Beard and Stubble Trimmer is available now. Don’t be a slob.
Touch Control Beard and Stubble Trimmer [Remington via Andrew Liszewski]
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