Last Saturday as I came out of a restaurant and was walking to my car, another man was walking toward the restaurant on the same sidewalk. As we met, we smiled at each other and, in a spirited tone of voice, I said, “Hello, it’s a beautiful day.” That was an appropriate thing to say because we had had lots of rainy days, and this day was clear, sunny, and yet in the 70s. He replied, “Hello, how are you?” And he kept walking. That’s not unusual. Many people do that. But it caused me to remember a professor at Yale Divinity School by the name of Robert Calhoun.
When you said to Dr. Calhoun, “How are you today?” he assumed that you actually wanted to know, and he proceeded to tell you how he was on that particular day–how his day was going so far, the good things and the disappointing things. And after he told you how his day had gone thus far, he, in turn, would say, “And how are you today?” And he would expect you to tell him how you felt and how your day had been going. Such an exchange would usually take three to five minutes.
Truth be known, the man who met me on the sidewalk outside the restaurant didn’t give one iota how I felt. That’s pretty typical these days. But I still remember, even as a busy student, how interesting and unique it was to hear Dr. Calhoun talk about how his day was going. And it was nice to have someone who cared about how my day was going and, if my day was not going well, who was genuinely concerned, taking the time to offer suggestions or to offer himself if there was anything he could do. Always a rewarding exchange!
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