Along with the fanny-pack, nothing says “I’ve given up” like dorky cellphone holders. Wear any of the myriad nerd-holsters available today and you are essentially ruling out the possibility of sex for the rest of your life.
Take a look at this king of anti-aphrodisiacs, the Wrap Strap, from the people who brought you the awful Cell-Wrap. It’s a neck-strap which holds your cellphone at chest level, so you can fire up the speaker-phone and natter away without having to actually hold the handset. Promised benefits include “No more tired arms and hands” and “No more painful neck and ears”. Unmentioned side-effects include “No more credibility amongst friends” and “Guaranteed hatred of every commuter on the subway”.
The Wrap Strap will even work with cordless home phones, if you still have one. And at “just” $12 for what is essentially a length of webbing with a couple of velcro pads, you could afford one in each of the three colors.
Product page [Universal Cell Wrap]
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