Many of you will be the go-to tech-guy-or-gal for your family and friends, and with the holiday season in full-effect, the number of gadgets you’ll have to troubleshoot is likely to multiply. And, like the IT guy at your office, you will take your turn rolling your eyes at the moronic behavior of your “clients”.
Here, we take a look at the most ridiculous and frustrating things that gadget n00bs do and say. Feel free to laugh cruelly along.
RAM vs. Hard Drive
You have just gotten through a troubleshooting session and your friend decides to throw one more problem at you. “My computer is running a bit slow”, they say. Instead of just checking for yourself, you instead ask how much RAM they have. The blank stare tells you that you have just entered, as Walter Sobchak would say, a world of pain. “I do have a lot of photos,” they say, “is that making it slow?”
You employ your best explanation about the difference between HD gigabytes and RAM gigabytes (my favorite is to say that RAM is the kitchen countertop and the HD is the store-cupboard. The bigger the countertop, the less trips you make to the store cupboard, and the faster you cook). You’re done, happy that you have made things clear. “So if I add more RAM, I can keep more photos?” Gah!
Wi-Fi is Not the Internet
Family Member: I can’t get the internet.
You: Are you connected to the Wi-Fi?
FM: Yes, but I can’t get Google.
You: I think maybe your router isn’t connected to the internet.
FM: (Pause) I am connected. I can see all four bars of the signal.
You: I can’t breathe.
Double Click Single Click
This isn’t a troubleshooting request, but it drives me crazy: watching people double-click links in web browsers. Why? WHY?
Breaking Things Through Excessive Neatness
This one takes many forms, but usually involves those who know just enough to be dangerous. It might be applications sorted into folders, either alphabetically or by purpose. It may also be the renaming of essential system files an folders (I have one friend who decided her iPhoto folders, created by the system, would look better with names in all-caps).
There are two things you’ll always find with these people: One, they never, ever put pictures and documents in the Pictures and Documents folders (instead they create new folders at the root level of their computers). And two, when they come to you for help, they will never, ever admit to doing anything wrong, even when you have busted them.
The “Mystery” Hot Computer
Friend: My computer gets very hot. The fan is very noisy.
You: I’ll come check it out. Bring it to [insert favorite bar here].
You get to the bar and they are waiting at the smooth, clean, marble-topped table. Their laptop is open, and it is sitting on top of its soft, insulating, neoprene slipcase. The problem is solved.
This is just the beginning, and now it is your turn. What are the most annoying, funny or just plain bewildering things your friends and family do to their machines? Put them in the comments.
Photo: Don Fulano/Flickr
