Hasta La Gadget!

Ford may have just unveiled a revamped Sync system at CES 2010, but its competitors aren’t sitting still–especially given the sudden push for “connected” vehicles.

One such competitor is Kia, which has officially launched its UVO mobile entertainment system. Automobile reports that UVO is based on an embedded version of Microsoft Windows–just like Ford Sync.

UVO can recognize two different operator voices, and also creates personal profiles for each person in order to develop shortcuts, even in several languages. Kia designed UVO to adapt over time via over-the-air updates, as new cell phones, MP3 players, and other devices hit the market with new technologies.

A 4.3-inch LCD lets users access music, phone books, vehicle information, and an optional backup camera. The first car to get UVO will be the 2011 Kia Sorento this summer.

New car technology is great right up to the point you’re tagging songs and checking out graphs and then it’s “Ahhhhh! WATCH OUT FOR THE NUNS!” Here are ten in-car technologies we find seriously distracting.

None of these are dangerous on their own as long as the drivers and passengers use common sense if, you know, you believe in common sense.

Technology: Cameras
Example: Range Rover Sport
Why it’s getting dangerous: It started with a backup camera piped into the navigation screen, then cars started getting wide angle cameras on the nose to help peek around corners, but the Range Rover Sport boasts five cameras littered around the perimeter of the vehicle to supposedly help in off-roading. The likelihood of any Range Rover Sport so much as dirtying a tire is next to nil, so drivers will probably just use them to perv it up and check out sexy pedestrians on the sly.

Technology: Customizable/animated gauge clusters
Example: Ford Fusion Hybrid
Why it’s getting dangerous: Anyone who’s driven a Ford Fusion Hybrid will tell you the first 20 minutes in the car are rather dangerous because you can’t help but fixate on the cool LCD gauges. They grow leaves when you’re driving economically, give you all kinds of information about the way the car’s operating and generally completely distract you from the task of driving.

Technology: In-car wireless
Example: Chrysler UConnect system
Why it’s getting dangerous: There are few things as distracting as the internet and putting it into a car is just begging for trouble. Let’s assume drivers aren’t dumb enough to go surfing while they’re driving, that doesn’t mean passengers aren’t constantly showing off the latest disgustingly brilliant creation on thisiswhyyourefat.com.

Technology: Massaging/Active Seats
Example: Mercedes-Benz SL550
Why it’s getting dangerous: The idea of massaging seats aren’t particularly new, but combined with the now normalized seat heater it’s a recipe for nap time, napping of course being the most passive version of distraction.

Technology: OnStar Route Guidance
Example: Anything from GM
Why it’s getting dangerous: On the face of it, OnStar route guidance seems like the antithesis of distraction, but after you’ve called OnStar and had them beam directions into your car’s computer a disconcertingly sexy voice dictates the turn-by-turn directions. Men have been distracted by much less.

Technology: Mercedes Splitview
Example: Mercedes S-Class
Why it’s getting dangerous: Here’s an idea, arrange two video sources on the navigation screen so the driver can see only car stuff and the passenger can watch TV or a DVD. All’s fine and dandy until the passenger starts watching porn. You know it’ll happen.

Technology: Sync iTunes tagging
Example: 2010 Ford products
Why it’s getting dangerous: Zipping along listening to music is a time-honored part of motoring, but in 2010 Ford’s going to let you tag the songs you like to remind you to buy them on iTunes later. It’s probably innocuous if it’s just the driver, but when the brood in the back launches into the front seat to insure the latest teeny-bopper manufactured garbage tune is tagged it’ll get a little distracting.

Technology: iPhone Turn-by-Turn Nav
Example: Any car
Why it’s getting dangerous: The iPhone turn-by-turn app actually works fairly well for providing directions, what it doesn’t do is prevent drivers from fiddling with their fancy widget while it’s stuck to the windshield, or taking phone calls, or fiddling with other applications, or texting…

Technology: Refrigerators
Example: Ford Flex
Why it’s getting dangerous: The fridge in the Flex is situated between two captains chairs in the middle row and the door flips forward, things specifically designed to keep drivers from using it. Drivers will use it, and because it’s in the back they’ll have to do some pretty severe acrobatics to get into it, and we’re not even going to get into what might go in there.

Technology: Histograms
Example: Lexus RX450h
Why it’s getting dangerous: That hybrids put drivers to sleep through crushing boringness should be enough, but they all pretty much include some form of fuel economy graphing system. Hybrid drivers are naturally inclined to want to eke out the most fuel economy possible and fixating on bar graphs detailing fuel consumption is a great way to get higher readings, it’s also hugely distracting.

Navigation apps are hot in the iTunes Store, and–thanks to a price war–are surprisingly affordable. But before you go driving with your iPhone, please get yourself a window mount. You can’t navigate with the iPhone in your cup holder, and holding it by hand is no better.

Three weeks ago, Magellan unveiled its version, the Magellan Premium Car Kit. Now the company says the product will ship on January 7 and is available for pre-order. It’s a good buy if you’re getting an iPhone or iPod Touch as a gift.

Not simply a window mount, the kit includes its own GPS chip so 2nd generation iPod Touches can work as navigators, as well. That chip will also boost the GPS reception of iPhone 3G and 3GS models. The kit includes a car charger, Bluetooth button for call answering, and speakers. I like that it’s size-adjustable, so that users can leave their iPod Touches and iPhones in their cases. I just wish the price was a little lower: at $129.99, it costs far more than the software itself (Magellan RoadMate 2010 North America is currently only $59.99 in the iTunes Store).

BMW will offer a turbocharged six-cylinder engine in its 7 Series luxury sport sedan in the spring for drivers who find 315 hp more than adequate and who wouldn’t mind more fuel economy. The 400-hp V8 BMW 750Li and BMW 750i remain in the lineup, as does the 535-hp V12 70Li. Specifics weren’t in BMW’s initial release. It’s possible a six-cylinder BMW 740i would get 25 mpg in highway driving and a 500-mile cruising range and might see 20 mpg overall. Expect a bit lower for the long-wheelbase 740Li. As for price, if BMW’s 5 Series provides a guide (it has both sixes and V8s), the entry price for the 740i might be a shade over $75,000, a savings of $7,000. The announcement makes the biggest, bulkiest BMW sedan look a bit greener with hybrid and six-cylinder versions arriving in 2010.

Novero has unveiled a series of five cell phone accessories that build on the company’s existing TheFirstOne Bluetooth headset.

TheTalkyOne is a Bluetooth speakerphone that works with calls and music, and is designed for home, office, and in-car use. Next up are two car kits: TheTrulyOne (pictured) is a Bluetooth car kit with a remote control and an LCD display. TheTrustyOne is a more basic hands-free Bluetooth car kit.

Finally, there are two new chargers. The TravelOne is a microUSB wall charger that comes in white or black, and includes adapters for North America, the EU, the UK, and Australia and New Zealand–193 countries in all. Finally, TheCarOne is a universal microUSB charger that works with any car’s cigarette lighter.

All products will see an official unveiling at CES on January 7th, and will soon be available at Amazon.com and other retailers.