Hasta La Gadget!

Taco Bell has responded to charges that its taco filling is something other than beef with a simple message: “Thank You for Suing Us.” That was the headline of a full-page print ad taken out in a number of prominent papers today, including The New York Times, USA Today, and The Wall Street Journal.

In smaller text, the ad, a letter from the company’s president, Greg Creed, promised to “set the record straight.” The ad carries a “Real Beef – Quality Guaranteed” logo. It continues,

The claims made against Taco Bell and our seasoned beef are absolutely false. Our beef is 100 percent USDA inspected, just like the quality beef you buy in a supermarket and prepare in your home.

Creed goes a step further, breaking down the contents of the meat, which is made up of 88 percent beef and 12 percent other stuff,

We start with USDA-inspected quality beef (88 percent). Then add water to keep it juicy and moist (three percent). Mix in Mexican spices and flavors, including salt, chili pepper, onion powder, tomato powder, sugar, garlic powder, and cocoa powder (four percent). Combine a little oats, caramelized sugar, yeast, citric acid, and other ingredients that contribute to the flavor.

After that quick recipe, the letter takes a slightly harsher turn, with Creed promising to “take legal action against those who have made false claims against our seasoned beef.” If there’s a real takeaway here, it’s to never mess with a man’s seasoned beef.

Police have arrested a man on suspicion of stealing student girls’ indoors footwear (uwabaki), adding a touch of dashi, and selling them as “hentai-don” (変態丼).

Don is the rice bowl dish that restaurants like Yoshinoya sell with meat and onions on top, usually as gyudon, and a recent symbol of Japanese deflation as chains compete to discount their ubiquitous meals and attract customers feeling the pinch of the recession. However, I expect even this product innovation was beyond the imaginations of the executives!

[Pic source]

The nefarious suspect is 49 years old and and is amazingly said to have stolen around 748 gym shoes and slippers. He apparently simmered the pilfered goods for a week, before adding them to tamago gohan. The final pièce de résistance were bras and swimsuits grated and sprinkled on top. He then sold the groundbreaking “hentai-don” for 850 yen (about US$10). Even the eggs in the tamago gohan were stolen from the school hens!

Still, it seems the current trend with Japanese men accused of terrible crimes is for them simply to write a book about their escapades, so perhaps the publishing industry will embrace this culinary pioneer!

[Via Kyoko Shimbun, aka the “Fictitious Newspaper”]

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. No, this isn’t the latest Japanese marketing strategy by Steve Jobs el al. The “apple” here really is the fruit variety, and in true Japanese style, peeled, cut and packaged.

Following on from Dole’s success with the banana vending machine in Shibuya last summer, m.V.m have installed a vendor offering apples to Tokyo commuters passing through Kasumigaseki subway station in the center of the city.

Kasumigaseki might be a curious choice; whereas Shibuya is one of the busiest shopping areas in Tokyo, Kasumigaseki is the home of the Japanese national government. So, it’s usually frequented by armies of bureaucrats (hardly known as trend-setters) and basically empty at the weekend.

The vending machine is also rather tucked away near one of the exits (by contrast, Dole even put posters in the stairway near their banana vendor to let people know it was there), and the apples themselves are definitely not a bargain. A single chilled pack costs 190 yen (about $2.30) for just three cuts or 80g. (A whole apple in Japan typically costs around 100 yen.)

However, these aren’t just any apples. These are Aomori Prefecture fruits, without doubt the most famous region in Japan for apples. Consumers definitely do not mind paying a lot for quality fruit and these kinds of apples are regarded as a famous luxury product by Tokyo-ites. A vending machine supplying conveniently cut and peeled slices to add as a healthy addition to your lunch is paradise for these civil servants.

The sales target is up to 100,000 yen (about $1,200) in one month. Sounds high even when the price of the apples is pretty expensive. But certainly on my visit some of the slots were sold out so we shouldn’t underestimate consumer demand for top grade fruits. If it’s a success expect to see apple vendors in other stations.

Chocolate-maker Lotte has teamed up with izakaya chain Warawara to offer four unique menu items this month. The unusual, potentially stomach-churning dishes include chocolate and carbonara sauce dips, priced between 300 and 400 JPY each ($3.60-4.80).

What sounds like saccharine sacrilege to some might just be every girls’ dream. The key sugary ingredient behind the “chocolate food” (choco meshi, チョコめし) is of course Lotte’s trademark product, the Ghana Milk chocolate bar. It follows hot on the heels of other hype-generating Lotte collaboration stunts with ramen shops, instant noodles and hamburgers.

According to WalkerPlus a Lotte survey of 312 females from middle school age to their forties found that 13.8% were aware of “chocolate food”. Not a huge percentage but it does indicate plenty of potential for new Valentine’s Day products!