Damn it’s cold out there. If only I had an obnoxious and impractical super suit of armor that protected me from the freezing temperatures. Fortunately, there are gadget garments that can make that happen.
Core:
Wine Rack and Beer Belly: These wearable bladders are intended to smuggle alcoholic beverages into forbidden areas while enhancing bust size or making your six pack look more like a keg. For our winter suit of armor however, I suggest filling them with your favorite hot beverage. You could stick with alcohol of course, but the accepted wisdom is that it actually lowers your core temperature. Still, fresh boob booze will make you feel warm. [Wine Rack and Beer Belly]
WarmX Electric Underwear: WarmX’s line of undergarments feature special conducting thread woven directly into the cloth that keeps you warm using power supplied by lithium-ion batteries. A charge will keep you toasty in even the coldest conditions for 2-5 hours. [WarmX via Link]
Ardica Jackets: As a final layer of core protection, these Aridica Jackets generate enough energy with a lithium-ion battery to keep you warm for 3-9 hours (depending on the settings) and even charge your portable gadgets. [Ardica via Link]
Legs and Feet:
USB Warming Kneepads: Okay, USB gadgets mean that you will need to carry around a laptop as part of your winter armor—just think of it like your version of an Arc Reactor. When plugged in, these kneepads will keep that trick knee of yours limber and ready for action. [Link]
USB Slippers: Like the kneepads, these slippers will keep your feet nice and warm when plugged into a USB port. Yeah, this is not so great for mobility, but your not chasing after criminals in this suit. In this case, your mortal enemy is old man winter—and he is a crotchety old coot. [Brando]
Hands:
Aevex Gloves: Like the Ardica Jacket and the WarmX Underwear, these gloves keep your hands warm using battery power. A charge gets you about 4-6 hours of warmth, and the gloves are smart enough to allocate heat where you need it the most by taking temperature readings on various spots of your hand. [Aevex via Link]
Head:
iLogic Sound Hat: Not only is the iLogic warm, it can also plug into your mp3 player to pump tunes into your brain via speakers located in the ears. [iwoot]
USB Eye Warmer: If you really want to get crazy with this suit, these USB-powered eye warmers will keep your eyeballs warm at the expense of your vision. Sounds stupid, but there is nothing worse than a pair of chilly eyeballs. [Thanko via Link]
USB Shawl: What good is a flamboyant super suit without a cape? It’s worthless, that’s what. Plugging in this USB heated shawl should do the trick. Embroidering it with your own personal superhero logo is optional. [Brando via Link]
[Image via infowidget]
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