Mental Anguish calculator, Infinite Janken for rock, paper, scissors solitaire
Posted in: Gadgets, Today's Chili, ToysThe piggy bank has certainly gotten a makeover recently and now Wiz Inc. offers a new take on the traditional calculator, the Consolation Money Calculator. What looks like a standard desktop calculator (except with an unusually large screen) actually has two modes, one for normal functions and one for “consolation calculation,” to determine the net worth of any emotional anguish incurred on account of another.
It works like this: first enter your profile information, choose the perpetrator of your anguish (from a list of option such as “boss,” or “boyfriend/girlfriend”) and the origin, fill in a few more details particular to your previous selections and hit the “mental damage” button to calculate your results. Since it really is just for fun, the “mental damage” equates to responses such as “beer” or “dinner” displayed in cute images on the liquid crystal screen.
The Consolation Money Calculator debuts on January 24th for ¥2,415. Also in stores on that day from Wiz Co.’s Koyoi Ani line (for ¥1,029) is the “Successive Janken” key chain game. The popularity of janken, or rock, paper, scissors, knows no boundaries in Japan and this game allows for unlimited practice against a digital opponent. Play involves choosing one of three buttons (rock, paper, or scissors) on the bottom of the “scissor hand” shaped game.
The appeal is based on the theory that if the entire world’s population of 6,600,000,000 were to engage in a giant tournament of janken, a player need only win 33 times consecutively to claim the world title (according to the press release). As players rack up consecutive wins, the standby screen updates their world rank, leading to the ultimate goal of global supremacy. Consider it “mugen” (endless) janken, but with a target (however unrealistic) in sight.
Although, keeping in mind how long some school kids spend on the trains in their morning commute, Successive Janken might just turn out a few top ranked players.
You already know what it will take to 
iShoes: As mentioned, speed will also be a key to victory. These self-propelled shoes will help you travel the store at a whopping 13.5 mph. [
Sonic Alarm Grenade: Once you have located your prize, you will need to secure it from the grubby hands of the holiday horde. Wearing a set of earplugs and pulling the pin on this sonic grenade should buy you a little breathing room. It packs an ear-splitting high decibel blast that can cut through a crowd like a knife. [
R/C Skunk: Speaking of cutting a path through a crowd, sending this realistic looking radio-controlled skunk down the store aisles should help clear the way. It even has a flickable tail to strike fear in the heart of your enemies. [
Security Briefs: These dummy skid-marked briefs are intended to be a secure place to hide your valuables, but placing them on top of the HDTV you want while you shop elsewhere works well too. [
Cyber Clean: Like the security briefs, Cyber Clean goo can be repurposed for holiday horde fighting. Under normal use, the substance helps clean your keyboard. But sneezing and throwing it discreetly on the product you desire should help you secure it. Licking it and / or putting it down your pants is also effective. [
Excuse Me, I’m a Reporter with a Camera: People will do anything for someone with a camera. Picking up an old shoulder-mount VHS camcorder and a cheap mic from eBay will give you free reign of the store. Posing as a local reporter covering the last minute holiday shopping crowds will help you cut through lines and grab the items you need with no resistance. You can even 
Defender Hoodie: As we have learned from the 
Umbuster Umbrella: Finally, as a last line of defense, the Umbuster knuckle-dusting umbrella will help you beat down mother nature and 
Don’t even think about shopping for a desk at IKEA—you’re better than that. Serious professionals need a serious workspace. If you are a gadget fanatic, the following ten desks should fit the bill.
