Now that the iPhone 4S is out, I’m disgusted by the mere sight of my stone-aged iPhone 4. Ugh. But it’s not worthless: If you took good care of your iPhone it could fetch some bills on the secondary market. More »
My parents, bless their heart, decided to raise me in a non-traditional way. I’m not talking about eat all the junk food you want and stay out all night non-traditional, I’m talking about how they handled Star Wars for me. That’s crucial in developing kids! They switched up the order and made me watch Star Wars like this: Empire Strikes Back, A New Hope, and Return of the Jedi. Wonky, right? More »
My parents never loved me enough to buy me a rideable batter-powered car. Well, either that or I never showed interest in one. Actually, it’s probably that. But one time I was at this girl’s birthday party and I reaally wanted to try out this little pink battery-powered Corvette because it was well, a freaking pink Corvette. As I felt the torque under my seat grow, I floored that baby and… ended up running over the birthday girl. I really didn’t mean to! Or maybe I did. Who knows! It’s not my fault. Blame it on my parents for not getting me a battery-powered car! More »
Do you know what sucks on a small and squashed laptop screen? Movies. TV shows. Games. You to the tube. Websites. Twitter. Chatting. The entire internet. Movie editing. Photoshop. Zooey Deschanel. Cat videos. Downloading music. Listening to music. Pretending to listen to music to ignore co-workers. Yes. Pretty much evvverrrything is worse on the smaller screen. But you know what will convince you to get that bigger, badder and just better monitor? Porn. I have a friend who only watches adult masterpieces on his 1080p 50 inch LCD. That must make for glorious personal time. I’m not advising you to go that route but even upping your game to a 20-inch Acer Monitor for $90 will make you enjoy the breastesses of starlets that much more. When it comes to personal time, an inch makes a mile of a difference my friend. -CC More »
I hate it when people accuse me of projecting my own problems onto them. Just because I like to go out and have a beer or ten every single night is not the reason why they’re total, dysfunctional alcoholics, amiright? The next time someone accuses me of projecting my own mental state onto them, I am going to whip out one of these pico-projectors, and literally project my own image on to them. THAT’LL SHOW THEM. And being $70 cheaper than usual at $130, I’ll still have beer money left over. WHOOOO! -AC More »
Have you ever wanted to buy something but knew that you had absolutely no need for it so you just tried to forget about it but every time you see it again, you want to buy it even more? That’s my relationship with Buckyballs. I just can’t justify spending money on those stupid metal balls. For what? Stress reliever? Clarity? So I can play with balls? Or can I? It’s like a rare alien metal that can somehow stick together. I don’t know how it works! It’s magic. An inevitable purchase. They have Buckycubes now for $25 (+ $5 shipping) which makes them even harder to avoid. I gotsta have it. But what about when they start introducing triangles, rectangles, trapezoids, paralellograms, hexagons, and rhombuses. Rhombuses were always my favorite shape (partly because I always forgot what they actually were). I’m gonna stay strong and hold out for the Buckyrhombuses. -CC More »
I was abducted by aliens once when I was in college. I was walking home from class one night after a lecture on Shakespeare’s The Tempest or something. It was cool and breezy, as I remember. But then it got a whole lot more breezy. Out of nowhere, a strange looking craft swooped down and hovered over my head. The next thing I knew, I was aboard the ship, drinking Tea and discussing the finer points of 16th century British literature in a wonderfully futuristic looking room. Then I woke up in my bed. Apparently I was the only one who saw the UFO, because there wasn’t so much as a message board post about it afterwards. More »
I just came back from California. Sunny Cali-for-ni-ay where the absence of weather means it’s always great weather. I ate In N Out a bazillion times. I drove in traffic. I listened to Dr. Dre. I watched Clayton Kershaw pitch. I didn’t surf, but I could have! I didn’t smoke out, but I should have! I didn’t sing the theme song of the OC but I’m humming it now. In New York. In my dark and cluttered desk. In the dreary weather. In depression. I’m depressed. And as a practicing scientologist that can’t take medicine, I stay depressed. So I wrap my brain around strategy games to remove myself from this world. I’m happy. It’s the next best thing to California. Try my therapy with the Indie Strategy Bundle: Anomaly: Warzone Earth, Defense Grid: The Awakening, Revenge of the Titans, Sanctum, and Sol Survivor for 10 bucks. -CC More »
Pancakes or waffles? I’m not even sure anymore actually. As a kid, I preferred the fluffy, cloud-like chewiness of pancakes but as I grew older and more daring, I wanted the crunch and rigid lines of a waffle. Waffles do have the perfect cutouts to hold syrup but there’s nothing more picturesque than a stack of pancakes with syrup and butter dripping all over itself. WHICH ONE IS BETTER?! When I started making my own waffles in a waffle maker, I almost decided I was going to be a waffle man for life but then I realized, I never did make my own pancakes. Like never in my life. I know, weird. So! I need to start making pancakes. These Star Wars Vehicle Pancake Molds (or Cookie Cutters) for 10 bucks will let me right the ship. Or maybe I’ll just be the confused soul who loves both. -CC More »
I want to start a cult. In this cult, we would drink until we couldn’t see straight, smoke until our lungs turned black and eat until we suffered massive coronaries. We would dress impeccably and never appear affected by the trials and tribulations of the world. And that’s just the workday! More »
This is site is run by Sascha Endlicher, M.A., during ungodly late night hours. Wanna know more about him? Connect via Social Media by jumping to about.me/sascha.endlicher.
