It’s going to get cold soon. I know you don’t think that now. I know you beautiful people in California don’t ever have to think about that. I know you don’t want 70 degree weather to end. I know you don’t want to remember the scarves, the gloves, the layers, the runny nose, the red cheeks, the glass ears, the chapped skin, the numb fingers, the club feet. I know you don’t want to get fat over winter. I know you don’t want to sleep with clothes on. But it’s going to get cold soon. Not SOON soon but soon there will be no more shorts, no more t-shirts, no more skin freedom. No more bikinis, no more tank tops, no more beaches. It’s going to be a tough life. So better prepare yourself now by building the LEGO Star Wars Hoth Wampa Set for $30. It’ll keep you ready for the chill until the cold really hits. -CC More »

I don’t remember the last time I ate Jell-O, just to eat Jell-O. Who does that anymore? Wait. Why don’t I do that anymore? Jell-O was one of my favorite things as a kid and now that I’m a stuffy ah-dult, I don’t eat the colored clear crack because I’m too big time now? That’s stupid. I’m stupid. My younger self would hate me for not buying all the candy I pass by when I’m at the market and all the times I drive by Toys ‘R Us and never pull in and all the other things I promised I would do when I had money and freedom but don’t do anymore. More »

I could go on and on about the relative merits of owning a $1 LED headlamp that normally costs $20. But I feel like our programmer Chris Beidelman put the value of this thing into perspective so much better than I ever could:

I have one of them. The strap feels really shitty and plasticky, and it smells like gasoline. But it’s a dollar. Buy a couple in case you get stuck in a mineshaft.By the way, For a dollar, you can either buy a crispy chicken sandwich at Wendy’s or A FUCKING HEAD LAMP.

He blew your mind, didn’t he? He tends to do that to the Giz staff on a daily basis. But I’ll blow your mind again: for $2, you could have BOTH. You’re welcome. -AC

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Holy shit! The house is collapsing! The entire house is falling apart! Laura—Laura, can you hear me? The roof is falling down! In chunks! Big chunks! Sweetie?? Can you hear this? This is incredible—everything is just falling down all over the place. The lamp! Oh sweet Christ, Aunt Ling’s lamp just crumbled before me. It’s all over Laura—I think I’m going down with the ship. No—no you hang up first. Laura! Baby, listen, I didn’t mean any of those things I wrote in the Courier-Dispatch—no, look, I know you were indicted, but that’s behind us, I—okay, fine. Well I’m telling you, the entire house is falling down. Everything is shaking. Shaking like God’s own tambourine! Well I know I’m not a churchgoing man, but, I’ll tell you, I feel holy spirit in this shaking house. Oh, the computer? No my laptop’s fine, I’ve got a 128GB Kingston SSD drive. Data corruption probably won’t be an issue, what with the lack of moving parts. And it was only $128 with free shipping! Can you believe that? Laura? Laura..? -SB

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Black and white TVs begat Color TVs begat big screen TVs begat HDTVs begat flat screen TVs begat 1080p HDTVs begat 120Hz TVs begat 3D TVs. TVs for everybody! And everybody loves the boob tube, everybody wants their fill of mindless entertainment, everybody needs to have the biggest and baddest TV on the block. So it’s become this status symbol for your home, the measuring stick on who’s best. Buying this 47″ LG 1080p 120Hz 3D HDTV Blu-ray player bundle for only 900 bucks will give you a pretty big stick. -CC

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