Hey there, this is your old friend the Cassette Tape writing in. I just want to say that I got a raw deal in the canon of audio formats. Everybody loved the CD because it was soooooooo technologically advanced. And people still love the LP because it’s the purest representation of analog sound or some nonsense like that. But what about me, huh? WHAT ABOUT ME?! All I’m stuck with these days are a bunch of kids who weren’t even born when I dominated music store shelves and only like me because they think I sound all “LO-FI” and shit. Well guess what: I SOUND GREAT. When I get all jammed up and spill my guts all over the place, THAT ONLY MAKES THE MUSIC SOUND BETTER.

Furthermore, I don’t appreciate people going out and making cassette players that will transfer my noise to that holier-than-though MP3 format. What in the hell is that anyways? You can’t even hold it in your hand. Anyone who pays $13 bucks for this thing is a fool in my book. My day will come again. I can promise you that. [Note: Gizmodo does not endorse the views of the Cassette Tape.] -AC

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