Looks like the Zune HD commercials are now hitting the scene, and unless multicolored flashing lights aren’t your thing, this isn’t likely to cause uneasiness or provoke blatant fanboyism. Instead, we’ve got a neon spectacle highlighting four of its big selling points: HD radio, video playback, wireless, and yes, games are there, too. See it for yourself after the break.
Turns out not everyone was amused by Sony’s tongue-in-cheek PlayStation 3 Slim ad about internet rumors — just ask the Nigerian government. The line in question, “you can’t believe everything you read on the internet, otherwise I’d be a Nigerian millionaire by now,” apparently caused a bit of a stir, and the local authorities demanded the company pull the commercial. It’s now been replaced in the company’s Viddler account with a slightly altered version that claims online FUD is “how World War One got started.” Someone should tell Sony Director of Rumor Confirmation Kevin Butler that there’s a certain assassinated Austrian Archduke who would beg to differ. Revised video after the break, and just for kicks, we found the old video on YouTube for comparison.
We have to hand it to Sony, they’ve followed up nicely on their “worst kept secret” trade show jokes with an ad campaign that is fittingly self aware. Our only gripe? That cheap shot at Bernie Buncalan — his blog is pretty good. We also packed in another video after the break. Enjoy.
Apple’s created a whole new chapter in its “Get a Mac” ad campaign based on targeting Microsoft’s successful Laptop Hunters series, and while at this point it’s just a lot of muddled back-and-forth, the gang in Cupertino managed to spice things up a little by bringing in an all-too-recognizable face and voice: Patrick “David Puddy” Warburton. Mr. Brock Samson / Joe Swanson / The Tick comes on as the top-of-the-line PC who some say has a “much too fast” processor but prone to viruses and causing headaches — you knew were the narrative was going. Video after the break, and you can go ahead and start work on your parody video, “You got a question about PCs, you ask the eight ball.”
The folks at Palm may think they’ve learned how to make some creepy commercials, but let’s face it, they’ve got nothing on Sony. The Japanese company has a long history of discomforting, unexplainable advertising that rivals a David Lynch movie — in fact, Lynch even directed his own television spot back in the PlayStation 2 days, itself reminiscent of UNKLE’s “Rabbit in Your Headlights” music video from years before. This latest set of videos for the PS3 Slim in Japan is no exception. Turn off all the lights, raise the volume of your speakers, and bow down before the masters of unnerving gadget promotion just after the break — we included the Lynch ad, too, in case you were interested.
Holy moly. We thought Sprint’s ad explicitly targeting iPhone customers was a desperate move. But Canadian carrier Bell’s TV commercial for the Pre wins first place for the nipping-at-Apple’s-heels contest. It looks so much like Apple’s iPhone TV ads that you’ll think it’s a joke. Nope, it’s real, and after you’re done laughing it’s actually kind of sad.
Far from being creepy this time around, the latest Palm Pre ad — this one specifically for Bell’s Canadian customer base — is familiar. Very familiar. Plain white backdrop? Check. Peppy male narrator? Check. Hip, upbeat music? Check. Mysterious hands showing off mobile apps and other smartphone capabilities? Check. Side-by-side comparison videos after the break. Hey, at least this one isn’t gonna creep you out.
Update: Looks like someone read our minds and spliced the commercial with Orba Squara’s infamous “Perfect Timing” found in the iPhone ads. Video’s after the break.
Each day I get a little bit sadder that Billy Mays is no longer with us. Good thing there are so many spokeassholes vying for position in the marketing pantheon.
UPDATE: Looks like there was a late entry to our list of current top spokesassholes: Miss Julia Allison has just signed a yearlong deal to peddle Sony’s wares. About time that her attention-whoring went global! [Sony Insider via Gawker]
Some of us were near tears when T-Mobile decided to drop Zeta-Jones as their official spokesasshole, but the good news is that she’s back. The bad news is that as soon as we heard her nerve-grinding accent, we remembered that those were tears of joy.
It was difficult to deem Sir Richard Branson as a spokesasshole. He is such a nice man and only wants innovative technology to reach those from “all walks of life”—assuming that they make $40 million annually, of course.
Lisa, Lauren, and Giampaolo are the biggest spokesassholes in the Laptop Hunters commercials. Lisa shatters eardrums with her exclamation of “WhaaaaAAAAaat?!?!”, Lauren followed the ads up with claims that they were unscripted, and Giampaolo is just plain smarmy.
Maybe one day he’ll button up the shirt and put on some sunglasses that don’t look like they’re his girlfriend’s. I hope he didn’t quit his day job (waiter? male prostitute?) when he landed this gig, because it won’t last long.
Verizon Probably Only Merged With Alltel To Get Rid of Chad
Verizon and Alltel may have merged, but we’ve still seen Chad’s picture looming around Alltel’s website. With his spiky blonde hair, laid back walk, and inability to take a hint, he’s a true menagerie of what this gallery represents.
Zune Spokesasshole Wes Moss nearly broke our douche point scale. If you can stand watching this Zune spot, after those Laptop Hunter ads, you’ll see why.
Dr. Dre and Jimmy Iovine are two ridiculously wealthy guys who decide, in their spare time, to become even more wealthy by peddling some overpriced headphones. Even if you ignore the fact that they’re distributed by Monster, and even if you admit that the headphones aren’t that bad—there’s no way the duo can’t escape the spokesasshole brand.
It’s not much of a secret that some of us here are Apple fans, but not even that stopped us from pronouncing Apple’s “I’m a Mac” guy and his smug attitude and thinly veiled disdain for PC as spokesasshole material.
Tamara Hope in the Return of the Stoner Commercials
The Palm Pre commercials started off terribly and only got worse until we stepped in with a remix. Though since it seems that Palm was really giving a nod to Ellen Feiss of Mac Switcher fame with these creepy “What is she on and where can I get some?” commercials, we’ll only rate actress Tamara Hope as half a spokesasshole.
We can forgive Michael Bay for not sharing video footage of Megan Fox washing his car, since he at least had her show a bit of skin in Transformers 2. What we can’t forgive him for his display of spokesassholery in this pitch for Verizon FiOS. By the fifth “AWESOME!” things turn from funny to “Please walk into the next exploding building, Michael.”
You’ve got to hand it to Kutcher. The man with a million Twitter sheep has risen from underwear model to annoying spokesasshole and GI Jane toy-boy. Though we can’t help but see Kelso every time he’s fumbling around on screen.
Having created an aura of surreal creepiness around its handset, Palm seems ready to talk about the Pre’s features (not just its feelings) in its latest video ad. Whether the change is in response to viewer unrest or a natural progression of the advertising campaign is unknown. But if princess waiffy pants could send a calendar late notification while pulling into a downward facing dog, well, that would be an ad worth watching. Maybe next time. Check the latest after the break.
OK, really. How do these people even get jobs in advertising? First there was Microsoft’s repulsive “Oh My God I’m Gonna Puke” ad for Internet Explorer 8. Now there’s Micro-Star International’s ad involving dudes heaving laptops into each other’s butt cracks. We get the point: Your notebooks are thin. But really now. Don’t do anything like this ever again — no ifs, ands or butts about it.
This is site is run by Sascha Endlicher, M.A., during ungodly late night hours. Wanna know more about him? Connect via Social Media by jumping to about.me/sascha.endlicher.
