Holy shit! The house is collapsing! The entire house is falling apart! Laura—Laura, can you hear me? The roof is falling down! In chunks! Big chunks! Sweetie?? Can you hear this? This is incredible—everything is just falling down all over the place. The lamp! Oh sweet Christ, Aunt Ling’s lamp just crumbled before me. It’s all over Laura—I think I’m going down with the ship. No—no you hang up first. Laura! Baby, listen, I didn’t mean any of those things I wrote in the Courier-Dispatch—no, look, I know you were indicted, but that’s behind us, I—okay, fine. Well I’m telling you, the entire house is falling down. Everything is shaking. Shaking like God’s own tambourine! Well I know I’m not a churchgoing man, but, I’ll tell you, I feel holy spirit in this shaking house. Oh, the computer? No my laptop’s fine, I’ve got a 128GB Kingston SSD drive. Data corruption probably won’t be an issue, what with the lack of moving parts. And it was only $128 with free shipping! Can you believe that? Laura? Laura..? -SB

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• 128GB Kingston SV100S2N/128GZ 2.5″ SSD for $128 with free shipping (normally $210 {Savings of $82 / 39% off} – use this form)

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Black and white TVs begat Color TVs begat big screen TVs begat HDTVs begat flat screen TVs begat 1080p HDTVs begat 120Hz TVs begat 3D TVs. TVs for everybody! And everybody loves the boob tube, everybody wants their fill of mindless entertainment, everybody needs to have the biggest and baddest TV on the block. So it’s become this status symbol for your home, the measuring stick on who’s best. Buying this 47″ LG 1080p 120Hz 3D HDTV Blu-ray player bundle for only 900 bucks will give you a pretty big stick. -CC

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• 47″ LG 47LW5300 LED 1080p 120Hz 3D HDTV w/ 3D Blu-ray player and 4 3D Glasses for $900 (normally $1200 {Savings of $300 / 25% off})

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That “home video” you recorded on vacation, that “home video” you recorded while bored on a rainy day, that “home video” you recorded in college. Yeah, you don’t want those landing in the wrong hands. But your digital hoarding, glory day re-living, libido of a teenage boy having self just won’t let you delete it. It’s okay. You have to satisfy your inner perviness somehow. That’s why you need to keep your sensitive bits secure. Like NEXT LEVEL secure. This 1GB Black Box Innovations Datalock PIN secure USB Drive is only 10 bucks. You gotta set a passcode to access it, so home videos can stay at home. -CC

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• 120GB OCZ OCZSSD2-1VTXPL120G Vertex Plus SSD for $120 with free shipping (normally $170 {Savings of $50 / 29% off} – use this form)

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Alarm clocks are the best worst enemy in the whole world. Hm, or is it the worst best enemy? Let me think that out here. Okay, alarms are absolutely necessary to anyone who works butt early so that means they’re the best but they’re also rude blaring animals with no regard about the awesome dream you’re having with that super hot girl so that means they’re the worst. So I think worst best enemy is a better description for alarms.

Best worst enemy? Has to be Darth Vader then right? He’s iconic, the first character you name in the Bad Guy Hall of Fame. So what happens when you get a Darth Vader (best worst) Alarm Clock (worst best)? Add the fact that it’s actually a LEGO (best) Mini (worst) Alarm Clock (worst best) that’s on sale (best) for $25 and you have a lot of bests and worsts in one sentence. Canceling all those bests and worsts with each other though (go ahead and do it) and you’re left with one best deal of the day. -CC

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If you could travel through time, what would you do? Where would you go? When would you go? Would you attempt to test the validity of the so-called Butterfly Effect? Would you make millions by buying stock in Apple circa 1997? Or would you travel thousands of years into the future and attempt to wrap your head around the latest innovations like a feeble old man. But maybe, just maybe, you’d decide to help save failing civilizations like Doctor. Who.

To date, 777 episodes of the British T.V. show Doctor Who have aired. JACKPOT. Your prize? Five Doctor Who TV specials on Blu-ray for $26 (normally $33), all of which star David Tennant, aka the 10th Doctor. Enjoy. -AC

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