Heavy Rain: A Peek Into the Future of Movies and Games [Entertain Me]

Even if you don’t own a PlayStation 3, Heavy Rain is a game you should know because it re-imagines both videogames and movies, combining them into a new genre of Choose Your Own Adventure digital narrative. (Very minor spoilers ahead.)

This is not to say Heavy Rain is perfect, but think of this piece as less a review than a critical discussion of a new work. How about we start from the beginning?

Heavy Rain is by a French company named Quantic Dream. Unless you’re a hardcore gamer, there’s no way you’ve heard of them. Before Heavy Rain, they’d made a game that was so plagued by budgets and launch schedules that its narrative lost basic cohesion—yet Sony has most likely sunk millions of dollars (be it in indirect support) into Quantic Dream to create a unique, PlayStation-exclusive IP.

Why? There’s no other development studio on the planet like them.

Quantic Dream creates a game that’s equal parts video game and movie. And I don’t mean that it’s a game peppered with a few, slightly congruous extended cutscenes, like Metal Gear Solid 4 or any Square Enix RPG.

Heavy Rain, and its predecessor Indigo Prophecy (also known as Fahrenheit), are highly directed pieces of media, deploying fixed cameras to tell the story of a scene as your character walks through, nuanced motion capture to add realism to both jumping through windows and merely turning off a sink, and choices that stem from real actions and dialogue that will change the course of the story you see unfold.

What’s this mean? If a person cries in Heavy Rain, you will most probably feel for them as you would any fictional character in any photographic media. These games aren’t Grand Theft Auto, with humans filling the landscape as silly, bleeding sheep-like diversions. Heavy Rain‘s writing is melodramatic to say the least, but its basic presentation of character is on par with any well-directed drama.

Heavy Rain may chronicle a serial child murderer through the perspective of four characters—an overweight private eye, a young FBI agent, a sexy photographer and a depressed father—it may take you through high speed chases and fight sequences that rival any action flick—it may have all the twists of any good yarn—but it opens with a father waiting for his son to come home.

The father walks through his house, exploring his life, completing mundane tasks and thinking aloud at any time with the tap of a trigger button.

Much of Heavy Rain explores the mundane, some of which fills in backstory, other of which just puts you in the shows of another’s life—like The Sims for someone 30 or over.

However, there is something to be learned in all this shaving and cooking. You’re mastering button combinations, strange holds and releases and analog stick maneuvers that you’ll need when things don’t go so well for Dad and his family. To drink a carton of milk, for instance, you’ll want to move the analog stick in the shape of a fishook…but slowly! Too fast and the realtime animation might make you spill on your face. Shaving works similarly.

Eventually, this same motion, coupled with a properly timed X or square button press could be the difference of life and death. And if your character dies during the course of the game, their story merely ends.

I know why Quantic Dream uses these quick time button mashing events. They want to make the gamer literally feel like they’re really controlling a character. And no matter how coordinated you are, knowing you’ll need to hit a random button at the right time is always stressful—allegedly mapping the stress your character feels in, say, ducking a swinging crowbar to your psyche as you press down on the controller.

And herein lies Heavy Rain‘s greatest flaw.

I want to choose whether or not my character shoots an innocent man for information. I’d like to decide the best way to hide a body without getting caught. And yeah, when and if I kiss the girl—that should be my call, too.

Knowing a scene can end so many ways to make a story branch so many ways feels like, well, it feels like something very important in the future of storytelling and gaming alike.

But when these decisions, my decisions, are impeded, not just by my gaming skill, but by the nature of the Dual Shock itself, it rips me from the story and reminds me that this is just another game filled with characters that aren’t real.

A simple shake of the controller, that was the difference between life and death for two of my characters. I shook the controller, timing it just right. They both died.

Sure, that could be the end of their story—people die, and that’s one potential outcome that I witnessed. But while I find the ability to affect choices interesting, if my gaming prowess is put to the test—even when that Dual Shock is working fine—I don’t want my heroine to perish because I missed hitting X when prompted. I want her to perish because I stupidly told her to go into a deserted house where a murderer was waiting, or because I told her to fight the guy off with a banana instead of a meat clever.

It’s a key question that future entities like Heavy Rain will need to answer better than they are now: How much of a story’s outcome is based on the story, and how much is based upon player skill? But I have the distinct feeling—as intense as it is to jiggle an analog stick to unhook a bra clasp—we’ll realize that watching two people make whoopie is a lot more exciting than making a lame minigame out of it.

And just as we have for millennia, we’ll watch a story unfold in front of us, passively, just with a bit more choice and replay value.

If titles like Heavy Rain show us anything, it’s that, yes, technology is unlocking new ways to tell a story. While most video games focus on a very linear plot, modeling themselves after movies and theater, they have the great potential to allow the audience to explore parts of a story that could have happened, altering fiction to better emulate real life and challenging the construct of a story as we know it—all well allowing the viewer to feel like they’re somehow involved beyond mere spectating. Fiction evolves from a series of events to a series of choices, much like life.

All my critiquing aside, you should absolutely play Heavy Rain. The PlayStation 3 title, available now, blurs the boundaries of media, offers an extremely entertaining 10 hours (or more if you replay chapters for different outcomes) and, for just a few moments over the course of the game, renders characters that are spitting images for real people. (And the rest of the time, the game still looks damn good.)

Oh, and one of the characters has these virtual reality glasses that are really cool.

Want more on the PlayStation Move? Head over to Joystiq!

Sony’s calling the PlayStation Move the “next generation” of motion gaming and planning to market it as heavily as an entirely new console, so it’s sort of a big deal — and that means our main dudes at Joystiq are all over it. We’ve already covered the main details, but hit the links below if you’re looking for some seriously deep dives.

Want more on the PlayStation Move? Head over to Joystiq! originally appeared on Engadget on Thu, 11 Mar 2010 01:01:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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PlayStation Move first hands-on (update: video!)

At last, we’ve felt Sony’s long awaited motion controller, now at last officially known as “PlayStation Move,” in our unworthy, sweaty hands. We have a bunch of videos on the way, but for now you can revel in our first close-ups of the controllers in the gallery below. Here are some of our initial thoughts:

  • The controllers are light. Much more akin to the DualShock3 than the Wiimote in heft, and we’re guessing that’s due to Sony’s continued love of rechargeable batteries.
  • The main controller does have some subtle vibration (not DualShock or Wiimote level, but present), but we’re not sure yet about the subcontroller.
  • We hate to say this about “pre-alpha” software, but we’re feeling lag. An on-rails shooter we tried out, dubbed The Shoot, was discernibly inferior to shooting experiences we’ve had on the Wii, both in precision and refresh rate of the aiming cursor.
  • The gladiator game is about as fun as it looks, we’ll have video after the break momentarily. Unfortunately, while it’s less of a defined experience than something like the sword game on Wii Sports Resort, you’re still working through a library of sensed, pre-defined actions instead of a true 1:1 fighting game with simulated physics. Not that it isn’t possible with PlayStation Move, just that it’s not this.
  • The lightness of the controllers means we might be feeling less of that Wiimote fatigue, always a good thing! There’s an aspect of the controller that feels a little cheap, but at the same time we wouldn’t call it fragile.
  • As far as we can tell, the control scheme for Socom 4 is quite similar to dual-controller shooter setups on the Wii, with the camera moving based on your aiming cursor hitting the edge. It’s hard to see this as the preferred hardcore setup, but we’re told it’s configurable, so we’ll try and see what else is on offer.
  • The system seemed to have a bit of trouble understanding the configuration of our body in a swordfighting stance: even though we selected “left handed,” it was putting our sword arm forward instead of our shield. Right-handers didn’t seem to have similar problems, and we’re sure this will be ironed out in time, but it certainly shows that the controllers aren’t magical in their space-detection prowess.
  • As would be expected, you’re supposed to stand relatively center on the TV, and at a certain optimal distance. The system is forgiving, but there’s a sweet spot that users will undoubtedly have to learn.
  • Lag is less prominent on Socom 4, and we’d say we’re pretty accurate with the controller already, though the framerate choppiness of this pre-alpha build obviously hampers that a bit. We did get a slight feel of being in “scene to scene” shootouts instead of a free-roaming FPS, perhaps a design choice to mitigate the limited camera movement offered by the controller, but we’ll have to see more levels to know for sure.

Update: We added in a longer video — are you ready for three minutes of nonstop excitement?

Update, final edition: We’ve got a new video with close-up walkthroughs of the controllers and some in-depth gameplay of Socom 4.

Continue reading PlayStation Move first hands-on (update: video!)

PlayStation Move first hands-on (update: video!) originally appeared on Engadget on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 23:58:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Sony Motion Controller is Called PlayStation Move, Launches Fall 2010 (Hands On!) [Playstation Move]

Sony’s finally put a name to their motion controller, and it’s called PlayStation Move. Updated with hands on.

Sony will have multiple packages. A standalone Move controller, or a package with PlayStation Eye + Move + a game, or an entire console solution. The Eye and Move and game combo will be less than $100. The preliminary launch window is Fall 2010.

One of the games for it is called Sports Champions, a game with a bunch of smaller mini games. One demo is a swordfighting duel game with a sword/mace and shield. It’s similar to the swordfighting one in Wii Sports Resort, but with a shield too. This needs two motion controllers at once.

One cool effect that they can do with the benefit of having a PS Eye is that they can do augmented reality stuff, like putting a paintbrush or a tennis racquet onto your Move controller on screen.

Sony also didn’t say that the controllers came in a pair, so for the games that require two controllers (like the swordfighting one), you may have to buy two Move controllers. Very Nintendo WiiMote + Nunchuck-esque in terms of having to buy two things.

Motion Fighters. A street fighting game that actually looks pretty cool, as it makes you make the entire motion instead of just flicking your wrist.

Oh, and there’s also a sub-controller that you can buy as an attachment to turn the controller into a WiiMote+Nunchuck like configuration. It’s also wireless.

Hands On

Update: I just got hands on with two of the games, one is Socom, a shooter that has been adapted to use the Move and the sub-controller, the second is the Sports Champions swordfighting.

Socom, compared to point-and-shoot shooters on the Wii, was much smoother, much less jittery and more accurate. The combination of Move and PlayStation Eye seems to work well in this aspect, but it’s not exactly better to use this when you compare it to a standard controller or a Mouse + Keyboard. I can see this as better for novices to shooters, being able to aim where you want to shoot.

The other game, the Sports Champions sword + shield fighting, is about what you’d expect. It’s more or less 1:1 motion, like the Wii MotionPlus, but it’s not so much more accurate than the Wii that you’d call it a dramatic improvement. An improvement, yes, but not dramatic. The left hand also holds a controller in order to wave the shield around, and that was a bit awkward in my experience. Right hand was fine, left hand a bit awkward to control simultaneously.

Swinging the hammer to your left, or right, or over your head actually moves it on screen, but again, it’s not SO much better than Wii MotionPlus. The graphics, of course, are one generation higher, but the controls, ehhh.

PLAYSTATION®MOVE MOTION CONTROLLER DELIVERS A WHOLE NEW ENTERTAINMENT EXPERIENCE TO PLAYSTATION®3

New PlayStation®Move Sub-Controller, Enabling Intuitive Navigation, to Accompany the Release of the Motion Controller This Fall and 36 Developers and Publishers to Support PlayStation®Move Platform

Tokyo, March 10, 2010 – Sony Computer Entertainment (SCE) today announced that PlayStation®Move motion controller for PlayStation®3 (PS3™) computer entertainment system launches worldwide this fall, offering a motion-based, high-definition gaming experience unlike anything on the market. Concurrently with its launch, SCE will also release PlayStation®Move sub-controller to be used along with the motion controller for intuitive navigation of in-game characters and objects. The PlayStation Move platform, including the motion controller, sub-controller, and PlayStation®Eye camera*1, together with a strong lineup of software titles, will deliver an innovative and highly immersive experience on the PS3 system.

The combination of the PS3 system and PlayStation Eye camera detects the precise movement, angle, and absolute position in 3D space of PlayStation Move motion controller, allowing users to intuitively play the game as if they themselves are within the game. PlayStation Move motion controller delivers unmatched accuracy through its advanced motion sensors, including a three-axis gyroscope, a three-axis accelerometer, and a terrestrial magnetic field sensor, as well as a color-changing sphere that is tracked by PlayStation Eye camera. Through PlayStation Move system, both fast and subtle motion can be detected, whether the user is swinging a tennis racket, or painting with a brush. With PlayStation Move motion controller, users can provide direct input through action buttons and an analog trigger, while receiving physical feedback from rumble functionality and visual feedback from the sphere’s ability to display a variety of different colors. Furthermore, PlayStation Eye camera can capture the player’s voice or image, enabling augmented reality experiences.

The newly announced PlayStation Move sub-controller is a one-handed controller, developed to further expand the game play options that PlayStation Move games can offer*2. PlayStation Move sub-controller features a sleek curved design that pairs with the motion controller and comes with an analog stick and directional buttons that allow users to easily control the game when moving characters or choosing a direction. Like all other Wireless Controllers for the PS3 system, it comes with a built in lithium-ion rechargeable battery as well as Bluetooth® technology, enabling the controller to transfer the input information wirelessly to the PS3 system without a cable. PlayStation Move motion controller and sub-controller will further broaden the gaming experience on the PS3 system for all genres, from games that use one motion controller to games that use both controllers.

The introduction of PlayStation Move controllers has been well received within the industry and now 36 third party developers and publishers*3 have decided to support PlayStation Move platform. In fiscal year 2010, SCE Worldwide Studios will also release more than 20 games that are either dedicated to or supported with the PlayStation Move platform.

SCE, with strong support from software developers and publishers, will deploy various measures to enhance the PlayStation Move software title line-up and vigorously promote the PS3 platform.

Seven45 Studios talks Power Gig details, we go hands-on with its six string guitar peripheral

We’ll just come right out and say it: Guitar Hero and Rock Band should watch their back, ’cause there’s a better-than-decent chance that Power Gig will be all the rage this holiday season. Seven45 Studios is a heretofore unheard of upstart with roots in First Act, and unlike the vast majority of game developers, these guys actually have a direct hand in the production of the software and hardware associated with this package. They’ll be designing the Power Gig video game series (Rise of the SixString is only the first installment) as well as the guitars, drums and microphones in-house, and given the First Act roots, you know you’ll be getting instruments of higher quality than what’s on the market today. Oh, and yes, we didn’t misspeak when we pluralized “guitars” and mentioned those other two devices.

We had a sit down with the team today at GDC, and besides coming away impressed with the alpha build of the game and the prototype axes we saw, we also learned quite a bit more about their plans than what was revealed in this morning’s press release. Just to be exceptionally clear, Seven45 Studios will not only sell their upcoming title as a standalone product, but it will sell a “band bundle” that includes the game, a guitar (plus a strap, picks and an extra set of strings), a drum set and a microphone, the latter two of which are still very early in production and weren’t available for us to test. The beat matching setup that gamers have grown used to in Rock Band and Guitar Hero is still there, but most everything else is new; a “chording” addition will allow users to strum actual power chords that match the chords used in the song, giving newbies the ability to actually learn songs as they play the game if they want to. In other words, if users strum the same chords required to succeed in the game but through an amp, they’ll be playing the actual song; if you’d rather not learn, you need not have any clue how to play a guitar to enjoy the game. Speaking of which, the bundled guitar (along with extra guitars that are still being sorted in terms of size, material and color) doubles as a legitimate six string by simply depressing the dampening pad beneath the neck, and while it won’t match the crisp tone emitted from your Les Paul Custom, the prototype we heard here in San Francisco sounded just fine for a beginner’s instrument. We also learned that existing Rock Band and Guitar Hero guitars will work with the Power Gig titles, and Seven45’s guitars will work with existing music band games — not bad!

More after the break…

Continue reading Seven45 Studios talks Power Gig details, we go hands-on with its six string guitar peripheral

Seven45 Studios talks Power Gig details, we go hands-on with its six string guitar peripheral originally appeared on Engadget on Tue, 09 Mar 2010 17:04:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Sony PS3 Wins HD Content from Major Studios

  • playstation-3.jpgIn the ongoing battle for content, Sony said Tuesday that it had locked in the five top studios to supply HD content to the PlayStation Network.

At launch, the content will be available in the U.S. only, with plans to launch soon in the U.K., France, Germany, and Spain, Sony said.

Sony claimed that “all” of the top studios now offer HD content via the PSN. The five studios announced Tuesday are: 20th Century Fox, Walt Disney Pictures, Paramount Pictures, Sony Pictures Entertainment, Universal Pictures, and Warner Bros.

“Securing high definition content from these studios is another significant milestone further validating PlayStation Network as a complete entertainment network in the home. PlayStation Network is the first and only service to deliver high definition home entertainment from all six major studios, directly to consumers for download,” said Peter Dille, senior vice president, marketing and PlayStation Network of Sony Computer Entertainment, in a statement.

The new titles include:

  • 20th Century Fox: “Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian”, “Jennifer’s Body” and “Fantastic Mr. Fox” (on March 23)
  • Walt Disney Pictures: Disney Pixar’s “Up”, Jerry Bruckheimer’s “G-Force” and Disney’s “Earth”
  • Paramount Pictures: “Star Trek”, “Paranormal Activity” and “Zoolander”
  • Sony Pictures: “This Is It”, “2012”, “District 9” and “Zombieland”
  • Universal: “Inglourious Basterds”, “Couples Retreat” and “Public Enemies”
  • Warner Bros. Digital Distribution: “The Hangover”, “Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince” and “The Wizard of Oz”

Report: PS3 Will Eventually Outsell Wii and Xbox 360

Sony’s PlayStation 3 may have gotten off to a rocky start in the most recent round of console wars, but according to a new report by analyst group, Strategy Analytics, the PS3 will beat out both the Nintendo Wii and Xbox 360 in the long run.

The report suggests that Wii sales have peeked and will decline after next year. Both the Xbox and PS3 will continue to grow, according to the report, with the PS3 moving 127 million units by 2013, compared to the Wii’s 103 million.

“Uncertainties clearly surround each of the major platforms,” the report adds, “particularly relating to the new services and upgrades planned by Sony and Microsoft. Natal on the Xbox could be more beneficial to 360 sales than expected, and Sony’s own motion controller, together with its plans to upgrade all PS3s to 3D capabilitiy [sic], also represent potential for upside to our core forecasts.”

Seven45 Studios ups the ante for music games, intros fully functional six string controller

We’ve seen “real” guitars made to “work” with existing music-band titles, and we’ve even seen MIDI guitars play nice with Rock Band, but we’ve yet to see a company design a game from the ground-up to work with a legitimate six string. Until now. Here at GDC, Seven45 Studios is making a name for itself by introducing Power Gig: Rise of the SixString (for PS3 and Xbox 360) along with a bona fide axe. The newfangled company is a sister firm to First Act — the same guys who made that guitar sold with your ’07 Jetta — and the instrument debuting here at the show uses proprietary technology “that can distinguish and recognize gamers’ input all along the guitar.” Better still, the instrument includes all of the innards necessary to make noise through an amp, so you could theoretically use this to rock out in real life as well. If you’re skeptical about the game’s ability to actually recognize complicated inputs, get a load of this: “Power Gig also introduces the option to switch on chording, or chord play; chording presents the added challenge of playing the game using chords that require specific finger placement on the strings.” The tandem is slated to go on sale this fall for an undisclosed amount, and we’ll be snagging some hands-on time with the game and guitar here in just a few hours — stay tuned!

Continue reading Seven45 Studios ups the ante for music games, intros fully functional six string controller

Seven45 Studios ups the ante for music games, intros fully functional six string controller originally appeared on Engadget on Tue, 09 Mar 2010 08:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Sony wants to patent ‘feature erosion’ in game demos, illustrates the idea vividly

Want more evidence of the patent degradation of modern society? Well, here’s Sony with its latest idea for selling games. The feature-eroding demo concept gives the user the full game to start off with, but then grows increasingly more limited the more you play it. In racing games, that means the number of tracks you can race on gradually dwindles, whereas in classically themed smack-em-ups like God of War your sword, erm… well, it also dwindles. We’re kind of on the fence about this — on the one hand, it’s hilariously insulting to the user as it perpetually nags him about what a cheapskate he is for not purchasing the entire game, and yet on the other it does at least let you taste the full breadth of the game, albeit for a limited time. However you may feel, this is still at the application stage, but given the patent office’s recent track record, there’s no reason why Sony should be denied the rights over this supposed innovation.

Sony wants to patent ‘feature erosion’ in game demos, illustrates the idea vividly originally appeared on Engadget on Fri, 05 Mar 2010 13:19:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Let’s Make.Believe Sony Ads Make Sense! [We Miss Sony]

Sony’s newest catchphrase, “make.believe,” is a fitting reminder that Sony ads make no sense. Laptops take flight, PlayStations become monsters, and pitchmen state plainly that Sony TVs make you better at playing sports. Most of all—look! Play-doh bunnies!

Back when Sony had only electronics to sell, they sold them like no other—to borrow a more sensible slogan that the company recently retired. You bought a Trinitron TV because it was the best, you bought a Walkman because it was the coolest, and you told everyone else they were dumb if they didn’t do the same. “It’s a Sony!” you’d shout at any half-witted amigo who was reluctant to pay the Sony premium.

Sony worked hard to make you a part of its marketing team. They even went so far as to indoctrinate the children. When the My First Sony line was launched, it actually made sense, because it reinforced what you already believed: that you would buy in and keep on buying. Brand did matter, but only by standing for specific, high-quality products. There were 170 different Walkman models released during its first decade, sure, but this was before MP3 players, cellphones, PDAs, laptops, portable game consoles and pocket-sized camcorders. Besides perhaps a 35mm compact camera, this was the only portable gadget to buy. You knew you were getting it, so choosing which one became a connoisseur’s dilemma. Even gorillas knew this.

By the time Sony got into the movie and record business, and the iconic cassette Walkman gave way to the less iconic CD Walkman, the Sony brand became bigger than the gadgets. With the eventual exception of PlayStation, the electronics lost their own identities. That’s not to say the gadget well dried up. On the contrary, Sony released more and more, jazzing up tried-and-true businesses with progressive industrial design and catchy-sounding sub-brands. It’s not a clock radio, it’s a Dream Machine. Sony’s brand momentum carried it successfully into new areas where they really could make a superior product. In addition to the videogame consoles, this included digital cameras, portable computers and dog-shaped robots.

But due to arrogance, an obsession with proprietary formats and a lack of stick-to-itiveness—coinciding with the rise of unexpectedly tough competition from Korea, China and Cupertino, California—the magic wore off. The “buy the brand” message lost its grip on shoppers, but to the increasingly out-of-touch executives inside the company, it seems to have become a rallying cry.

Sony started losing Number 1 positions in TVs, cameras and even videogame consoles, and found themselves unable to get the market leadership they assumed they’d easily grab in other areas, such as PCs or ebook readers. As they slipped, their advertising just got weirder and weirder. Ads now ranged from purely artistic—products saw hardly any airtime—to trippy—products were shown, but not in a way that a buyer could relate to—to sarcastic—where pitchmen and pitchwomen spouted nonsense and openly mocked customers, as if consciously parodying Sony’s own classic advertisements.

Thanks to the miracle of YouTube, we can see how all three of these categories failed to hit their targets.

Artsy Fartsy

What can you say about this category, except that who doesn’t like rainbow-colored Claymation bunnies hopping to late-’60s Rolling Stones?

Who doesn’t like bubbles falling from the sky? Or the spontaneous proliferation of several million bouncy balls? Who among you doesn’t like sound/vision experiments by avant garde directors cut to ADHD-friendly 3-minute lengths?

If you answered “no” to the above questions, you are lying. But to drive the point of failure home, let’s hear from one of YouTube’s commenters: “It’s visually interesting but it comes across as some kind of dystopian vision of the future. An Orwellian kind of hell sponsored by Sony.” Hell. By Sony. And I am not entirely sure I ever saw anything I could actually buy.

But Will It Bite?

Another batch of ads featured real Sony products, but not in any way that helped the consumer decision. We begin with the PlayStation 3, according to this video, a dangerous, volatile and ugly beast that does… something:

Somehow they manage to convey all the tension of gaming without any of the fun. It’s violent through and through, except for that quick bit with the butterflies.

Here is the Bloggie camcorder, whose simple demonstration has been so perverted, it would cause Steve Jobs—or even Steve Ballmer—to shoot the director between the eyes:

Never mind that, on this complicated-looking copy of a Flip camera, the 270º swivel lens is the only thing everyone would figure out immediately, why does the product have to be man-sized? And what’s with the fingers guy?

In this whole mess, the most organic ad I could find was for Rolly, the short-lived zany Bluetooth music robot. I love the ad, but I actually know the product. The ad, to a lay person, would be confusing at best, and at worst would suggest a degree of interactivity that the product simply didn’t have:

F*** You, Buy a Sony

The ads that Sony should really be ashamed of, though, are the so-called expert ads, some of which ran on our own site this past holiday season. I will admit to being a fan of Peyton Manning and Justin Timberlake, but they’re not experts, and I wouldn’t trust them any more than I trust any of the other people on the so-called panel.

In the Sony Reader ad, when the poor actress has to ask the incredibly dumb question “Can I read a lot of books on this thing?” Amy Sedaris says yes and holds up her book, I Like You. It’s worth noting that unlike her brother’s works, Amy’s book is highly visual, with color photos and lots of sight gags. It’s excellent, but you would never ever read it on a Sony Reader—or on a Kindle.

In the camera ad, when the actress mentions that all the cameras look the same, baby-seal photographer Nigel Barker explains that “the technology in their cameras and camcorders makes it easy to get the best shot.” This is something every camera maker would say about their cameras. It doesn’t differentiate, and it can never be proven wrong.

During the TV ad, Peyton and Justin play pingpong. ESPN’s Erin Andrews says to a bewildered family, “You can’t fake Sony quality.” Justin chimes in with, “The more sports you watch on a Sony, the better you get. At sports.” And then a TV appears with the words HDNA scrawled across it, though the announcer says it’s called a Bravia. I don’t know what HDNA is, and I was there when they unveiled it.

In a rather ironic twist, these ads got remix treatment by the Gregory Brothers of Auto-tune the News fame. This isn’t some Gray Album bootleg, but a viral video sanctioned by Sony’s marketing department, an approval that shows Sony can make some daring choices when they want to. But was it the right move? I enjoy this remix more than any of the original ads, but it doesn’t clear up any frustration either. It is a distortion of a distortion of a message.

Don’t you feel like the Gregory Brothers know this? They openly mock the customers, and they repeat “these all seem the same” over and over—and over. I couldn’t help but flash a knowing smile when Julia Allison explains that the Sony PC is different because it has a Blu-ray drive and an HD screen. Like every other Windows laptop in that range.

Where Do They Go From Here?

When criticizing advertising, the easiest thing to do is to point to Apple as the counter example. “Well, Apple would’ve done it this way.” But truthfully, Apple achieves what most companies strive to pull off, an entertaining but earnest look at the product being sold, or a comedic vignette that drives a single sales point home. (Say what you want about Justin Long, but Hodgman’s Eeyore of a PC sure sells Macs.) Like everything else, Sony needs to focus. Instead of hiring 20 different artists to conceive of crazy shit, why not create a global ad campaign that focuses on specific actual products, and portrays their standout features in a way that doesn’t sound like it’s mocking the products or the customers? My only fear is that as Sony has less and less to brag about, this strategy will be harder to work out. Still, it’s worth a shot: Pick your best products, get closeup shots, play some baby music in the background, and tell us why we should buy them. No psychedelia, no anthropomorphic gimmicks, and no smirking.

The complete “We Miss Sony” series
Video: Describe Sony In A Word
How Sony Lost Its Way
Sony’s Engineer Brothers
Infographic: Sony’s Overwhelming Gadget Line-Up
The Sony Timeline: Birth, Rise, and Decadence
Let’s Make.Believe Sony’s Ads Make Sense
The Return of Sony

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