Hasta La Gadget!

This article was written on September 21, 2007 by CyberNet.

First of all, Woot has the Microsoft Zune 30GB Digital Media Player as their deal of the day today for $129.99 plus $5 shipping – not a bad deal. The last time they sold the Zune, they offered it for $149.99, so it’s $20 bucks cheaper. That’s not what this post is about though, it’s about the product information to describe the Zune which is hilarious.

If you haven’t read the Open iPhone Letter from Steve Jobs when he justified the price drop and then offered the $100 store credit to all iPhone customers, take a look at it here first. Now take a look at Woot’s  "Emergency Open Letter" to their customers which mocks Jobs’ Open iPhone Letter perfectly and offers a $10 Woot credit to the Zune’s "early adopters". I’m just pasting it into this post because after today, it won’t be available. Important parts are highlighted, but the whole thing is funny and definitely worth reading:

An Emergency Open Letter

To all Woot customers:

I have received more than three emails from Zune buyers who are upset about Woot dropping the price of the Zune by $20 one month after it went on sale the first time. After reading every one of these emails, or at least scanning their subject lines, I have some observations and conclusions.

First, I need to make a better effort to hide my email address.

Second, I am sure that we are making the correct decision to lower the price of the 30GB Zune from $149.99 to $129.99. This confidence is based on more than the holy doctrine of corporate infallibility. The Zune is a breakthrough product, and we have the chance to “ride the lightning” and “shoot the curl” this holiday season, not to mention “kill the messenger” and “rock the vote”, further enabling us to “pay the rent” and “keep the lights on”. It benefits both Woot and every Zune user (but especially Woot) to drag as many new victims as possible into the Zune “dungeon”. We strongly believe that misery loves company this holiday season.

Third, being in technology for 1+ years, give or take a year, I can attest to the fact that the technology road is bumpy. There is always some idiot changing lanes without signaling, and the potholes never seem to get fixed. If you always wait for the next price cut or to buy the new improved model, you’ll never buy any technology product. I mean, why should you? Truth is, you don’t really need any of this junk. We’re afraid you’ll catch on to that fact and overpaid frauds like me will have to go back into fields like telemarketing and burrito construction. Fortunately, most of you continue to languish in a consumerist stupor, wallets spread wide for us to plunder as we please. The bad news for us is that if you buy products from companies that support them well, you will receive years of useful and satisfying service. But we’re hoping you’ll buy from Woot instead.

Third-and-a-half, even though we are making the right decision to lower the price of the Zune, and even though the technology road is, like, this total Deathrace 2000-type scene, we need to do a better job taking care of our early Zune customers, at least until we find a private security firm we can afford. For some reason, our early customers trusted us. We must live up to that trust with our actions in moments like these, lest you turn off the money spigot that maintains our decadent lifestyles. These peacock-egg omelets and mink-lined Jacuzzis don’t pay for themselves, you know.

Therefore, we have decided to offer every Woot customer who purchased a Zune from us on August 22, 2007 (or in the last Woot-Off) a $10 Woot credit towards any Woot order of $40 or more, before shipping. If that’s you, just enter the coupon code BUMPYROAD while making your purchase, and boo-yah: you’re mayor of Discount City. This discount applies to any Woot site, including Woot.com, Shirt.Woot, Wine.Woot, Sellout.Woot, and Beets.Woot. It doesn’t expire, so feel free to check back everyday ’til you find something that will temporarily fill the void in your soul. You may use the coupon as many times as you bought Zunes. So, if you bought one Zune from us back in August, you can use BUMPYROAD once; if you bought two, you can use it twice; and so forth and so on and what-have-you. But you can only use the discount once on any one order. We make this decision with every confidence that most of you will never want any of the crap we sell anyway.

We want to convincingly pretend to do the right thing for our valued Zune customers. We’d apologize for disappointing some of you, but we long ago lost the capacity for sincere remorse. We will continue to do our best to trick you into having high expectations of Woot.

Larry Stalin
Woot CYA Officer

Doesn’t that sound like something The Fake Steve Jobs would write? This has got to be one of the greatest product descriptions from Woot, ever.

Source: Engadget

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All of the major E3 keynotes from Microsoft, Nintendo and Sony are over. While 2009 is now officially the year of motion controls, there’s still something missing. Here’s what we expected to see at E3, but didn’t.

Price Cuts
The financiapocalypse has yielded no price cuts for ailing gamers from Sony, Nintendo or Microsoft. A PS3 still hurts at $400, a real Xbox costs $300 (with downloadable retail games on the way, you need that hard drive), and a Wii still costs $250. Not to mention the true price of owning these consoles—$60 $80 for a complete Wiimote (can’t forget MotionPlus, which Miyamoto said yesterday could be required for the next Wii Zelda), $50 a year for Xbox Live—also remains unchanged. This is undoubtedly part and parcel of this generation’s extended lifespan, but parts and manufacturing prices have fallen, so they’re all presumably recouping more money than ever on their consoles. If they’re serious about picking up new gamers, they need to make it affordable.

PS3 Slim
Sony inevitably slenderizes every console, and the PS3 is an effin’ monster. The PSP Go shows they’re still very much on board on the shrink ray as a way to generate sales. The PS3 costs them less than ever to make—just think how much more they’d save if they didn’t have to pay for all of that extra plastic? (OK, maybe they’d have to pay more for the smaller guts.) But we’ve seen possible branding for it, just maybe. Are they saving it for motion controls?

Zune, Zune, Zune
We really expected more ZuneHD to be a part of Microsoft’s E3 keynote, given the barebone announcement that left us parched for more details. ZuneHD wasn’t mentioned once.

Also, Microsoft promised “at E3 next week, attendees will see firsthand how Zune integrates into Xbox LIVE to create a game-changing entertainment experience.” Um, we must’ve missed that. Zune Video Marketplace moved onto Xbox Live was all we caught. When we asked Xbox Live’s Marc Whitten yesterday where Zune audio was, he pointed at Last.fm. And about what we can expect from deeper Zune integration, we got a more or less canned response that they’ll be continuing to grow the service and move toward more integration. Not very satisfying.

Live Anywhere
Nearly three years later, and one year after being assured the project is still alive, Microsoft’s Live Anywhere—the service that’ll let you tap into Live from anywhere—is still nowhere. Which is absolutely baffling, given everything Microsoft’s added to the Live service since the New Xbox Experience and all of the “cloud” work they’ve been doing. Live Anywhere fits perfectly with all of that. There’s really no good explanation for why Live Anywhere is still MIA.

But we asked Whitten where it was, just for good measure. He said they’re focusing on the living-room experience here at E3, and since that extends onto other devices, it’s for another time and place. Ooooookay. Maybe when we see that deeper Zune integration?

A Bigger, Better Wii Balance Board and More Wii MotionPlus Games
While Nintendo didn’t fail to come through with a new piece of potentially gimmicky hardware (notice they didn’t even have a game to go with it, and Miyamoto himself was vague on WTF it’s for), Wii Fit Plus is the same old Wii Fit from a hardware perspective. We hoped a Wii Fit Plus would come with a Balance Board Plus—a smarter board that’s even bigger for people who don’t have Japan-sized feet. It’s one new hardware peripheral we wouldn’t have minded one bit.

A year after announcing the Wii MotionPlus, the game pickins for it still look a bit slim. Nintendo announced a handful of titles yesterday that’ll make use of it, like Sega’s Virtua Tennis 2009 and the new Tiger Woods Golf from EA (which’ll have it bundled) but it’s disappointing they didn’t have more to show at this stage of the game. During yesterday’s Q&A, Miyamoto said that it might be required for the next Zelda on Wii, depending on how widely it’s adopted—so whether we see it used in more games may very well be dependent on how well it does with the initial load of titles. So it’s odd there isn’t well, more of them to start to really get the ball rolling.

So that’s what we really missed at E3—well, all that and Hulu. What did you guys really hope to see?

In addition to debuting ten new games for the Xbox 360, Microsoft today kicked of E3 2009 by introducing a number of new features for the console’s online counterpart, Xbox Live, including partnerships with Facebook, Twitter, Last.FM, and the U.K.’s Sky TV.

Music is coming to the platform thanks to an exclusive partnership with Internet radio provider, Last.FM.

The company introduced a number of additions to its existing partnership with Netflix, including the ability to browse categories directly from the Xbox, without having to go through a PC. And users in the U.K. and Ireland will be able to view  movies and TV shows thanks to a partnership with Sky, which offers live TV, including cricket and soccer games, available without the need of any additional hardware.

The platform’s video offerings will be renamed Zune Video, offering video selections in full 1080p.  Zune Video will now be available in 18 countries, up from 8.

A newly announced partnership with Facebook will let users browse photos and enter status updates directly from their consoles. Xbox users will also be able to update users on their statuses via Twitter, thanks to a partnership with that company.

We’re inside USC’s Galen Center in lovely pre-apocalyptic LA, waiting for the Microsoft E3 keynote to kick off—it goes down in half an hour at 1:25PM Eastern, but our liveblog kicks off right now. What’s Microsoft gonna unveil?

Archive below:

2:30 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:
Hey guys, we’ll see you right here live from Microsoft’s E3 keynote at 10:25am Pacific–that’s 1:25pm Eastern. Of course, you’ll want to be here a little earlier for the pre-game coverage. See you then!

9:59 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
We’re live in LA, which really means that we’re at USC’s Galen Center, shoulder to shoulder with our pals at Kotaku. Microsoft is pumping house music. There are lots of green lights. And the show will start at 10:25. Why 10:25? Microsoft moved the press conference up by five minutes in an emergency email last night.

10:02 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:04 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
So what can Microsoft do with an extra 5 minutes? The rumor is a Beatles reunion between Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr (probably for the new Beatles Rock Band game). Apparently said fabled reunion, should it ever take place, would last precisely 5 minutes before Yoko Ono showed up and started a fight.

10:05 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:13 AM ON Jun 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
BTW, Gizmodo will be liveblogging everything Microsoft announces today. But Kotaku is around, too. Check out their liveblog (in another tab, of course!) here.

10:15 am ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:17 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:18 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
I stand by my prediction. I think hulu will be announced for the Xbox 360 either now or later this week. But what else is going on today (besides Beatlemania)? Full Zune Marketplace integration with the 360 makes sense. Shared videos have already been announced. Music seems like the most logical next announcement. What about Live Anywhere, which would link the Zune and 360 in both gaming and media? Ehhhh, I HOPE it’s announced, but we’ve been awaiting the service since 2006.

10:19 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:20 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:21 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
The music is still blasting, but the crowd is fairly subdued. Just announced: the briefing will begin in five minutes. So much for that last trip to the bathroom. Microsoft has kindle placed water bottles in each of our seats. The water spites my full bladder.

10:22 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:
I want some hot Zune action. Zuuuuuuuuuuuune. No Zune signs anywhere though. Just lots of Hulk green.

10:22 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Music just changed from house to a sort of funk rock. Whoa, and some metal, out of nowhere! Microsoft is here. And they’re pissed.

10:23 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Everyone who’s home or at work right now, we’re going to do a little Gizmodo wave. You start.

10:24 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Every light hanging from the ceiling is green. When the aliens invade earth, it won’t look so different from a Microsoft presser.

10:25 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:25 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Lights are dimming…I’ll admit it, I’m actually a bit excited about what could be announced. Are you?

10:26 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:27 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Factoid: Microsoft starts all their pressers with the Xbox 360 loading sound.

10:27 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:27 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
A Rock Band Beatles clip is playing…maybe Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr are about to show up…

10:27 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:28 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
BTW, the song is Paperback Writer, my favorite Beatles tine.

10:28 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
The Beatles Rock Band drums have been spotted onstage. Will the Beatles be playing Rock Band instruments? How sad!

10:29 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:30 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Jason Chen:

10:30 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Harmonix is onstage talking about The Beatles, reminding the hipsters that there was music before the era of American Apparel.

10:30 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:31 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:31 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
The Harmonix house band is playing, so NO BEATLES. I repeat, NO BEATLES.

10:31 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:32 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:32 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
The gameplay looks exactly the same as every other Rock Band game, but with The Beatles, of course.

10:33 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
I hate that by the time The Beatles come to Rock Band, I’ve basically grown sick of music games. Am I think only one? (They’re still playing, btw.)

10:34 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
I’d also like to take this time to note that this game is not an Xbox 360 exclusive. It’ll be on PS3 as well.

10:34 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:35 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Now they’re playing the game’s first official trailer…a bit anticlimactic after we’ve seen it demoed live onstage, but whatev. I’m still pumped!! Hulu, please hulu!!

10:36 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:36 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
You should just get X1000000 Star Power whenever you play as The Beatles in Rock Band. I mean, seriously. I know they’re not Duffy, but they’re still pretty good.

10:38 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
All You Need Is Love will be exclusively available through Xbox Live. Proceeds will go to charity.

10:38 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:38 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
YOKO ONO!!!

10:39 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:39 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
AND OLIVIA HARRISON!!

10:39 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr are live onstage!!! OOH!!!

10:40 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:40 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
“Good morning everybody!” Oh Ringo, you know how to sweep a girl off her feet.

10:40 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
“The game is good.” Ringo Starr, ladies and gentlemen.

10:41 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:41 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
And as soon as they’re appeared, they are gone.

10:41 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
John Schappert, corporate VP of Xbox, is now onstage. Tough act to follow, buddy.

10:42 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
He’s talking about the economy. “Now, more than ever before, people want to have fun.”

10:43 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
He’s promising “showing, not telling.” No charts and graphs. The audience cheered. 10 world premiers of unseen games. And revolutionary new experiences “for everyone.” Hmmm….

10:44 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Tony Hawk takes the stage. I wonder what he’s going to be talking about… (I’m being sarcastic, it’s Tony Hawk: Ride, and he’s holding the new skateboard peripheral.)

10:44 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:44 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Accelerometers, IR sensors, you can put your foot on the side of it like you are pushing along.

10:44 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:45 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
“The design is really intuitive…even if you’ve never stepped foot on a skateboard.”

10:45 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:45 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
And now they’re cutting to a WORLD EXCLUSIVE trailer.

10:45 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
So, Tony Hawk (live) just teased Tony Hawk (taped, in the WORLD EXCLUSIVE trailer). A bit backwards, no?

10:46 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson
More on Tony Hawk: RIDE at Kotaku

10:46 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:47 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
We’re seeing demos of the skateboard being used for the first time. It’s thicker than I thought, which I guess is necessary for durability. It also looks shorter than a normal board.

10:47 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:48 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Oh great, the skateboard will be on the show floor. Tony out. Now another trailer…with guns….new Call of Duty!

10:48 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:49 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
The graphics, if these are in-game, have seen a huge jump. The textures are really impressive on models. The people are moving very fluidly, though not so fluidly that it would imply the footage is prerendered.

10:48 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:50 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Yes, it’s Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Guys from Infinity Ward are coming on stage.

10:51 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:51 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Alright, and they’re demoing the game for us. A soldier is in Siberia or something, standing on the ledge of a mountain. Yeah, body textures are really improved. And animations are SO fluid as he icepicks his way up the mountain.

10:51 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
The music is vaguely reminiscent of Star Wars, believe it or not. Understated with like a French horn or something chiming in once in a while.

10:52 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Holy crap,the soldier just jumped a chasm while dual wielding ice axes. He ALMOST fell. I hope he lives! OK, I think he lived.

10:53 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:53 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Apparently I’m a huge Modern Warfare fan because this just seems fantastic. I swear they dropped the temperature in the Galen center to match the icy tundra of the demo level.

10:53 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:54 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Would it be great if a Metal Gear showed up out of the fog? Man, that’d be great.

10:54 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:55 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:55 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Lots of people are shooting and dying now. Wait…you SHOOT PEOPLE IN THIS GAME? What happened to the nice mountain climbing sequences?

10:55 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:56 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Another suggestion for Infinity Ward: Give these guys sleds. HOLY CRAP, snowmobiles. They read my mind. And the soldier just hopped on. This changes everything.

10:56 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:56 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:57 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
You can shoot people while driving the snowmobile. This looks good enough to be its own deadly racing game. OK, clip over.

10:57 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:57 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Infinity Ward and Activision are releasing two map packs first to Xbox Live. OK, now Square Enix coming out.

10:58 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:58 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

10:59 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
They’re basically saying how Final Fantasy is the best series ever before showing us some of Final Fantasy XIII, the first Xbox Final Fantasy (announced at the last E3).

11:00 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:00 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Now we’re seeing a live demo. Two of the characters are fighting a huge scorpion plane mega boss.

11:00 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:00 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:01 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
The combat now includes four active time gauges, allowing you to consecutively attack with wider tactics. I think that means allowing big spells to charge with more strategy.

11:01 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:01 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
I mean, not to piss anyone off, but it looks just like a Square RPG. And the demo is over.

11:02 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Spring 2010 release. Wow, it’ll be a while.

11:02 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:02 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Schappert is back onstage. He’s talking about the diversity and quality of exclusives. He’s promising everything from here on out of the presser is Xbox 360 exclusive. Cool…but what’s an exclusive really mean today?

11:03 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Epic takes the stage, makers of Gears of War.

11:03 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:03 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
They are introducing a new Live Arcade game, the first of its kind from Epic. Predictably, it’s powered by their Unreal engine.

11:04 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:04 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:04 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
It’s a military sidescroller, similar to Castlevania, with some nice 3D depth. You play a soldier with hookshots, guns, etc.

11:05 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:05 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
It looks very nice for a Live Arcade title. Gameplay is a bit choppy, but it looks fun with neat glowing bullets and lots of explosions. Its called Shadow Complex.

11:05 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:06 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Oh, and Cliffy B is sporting a shirt that Giz readers should know!

11:06 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:06 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:06 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Now we’re looking at a zany racing game that uses Live avatars. It’s called Joy Ride. More on these games over at Kotaku.

11:07 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:07 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Joy Ride is free to download and play! But new cars and levels are $$$ DLC. It’s coming this winter.

11:07 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
I just heard an MGS alert sound…but I think it was from back in the audience, someone’s phone or something.

11:08AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:08 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
But for the record, Matt Buchanan and I both looked around for an exclamation point.
11:08 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:08 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Ooh, CRACKDOWN 2! That’s huge.

11:09 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:09 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Crackdown’s teaser was all of 20 seconds. Sorry, we have no more on the game.

11:09 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:09 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Now we’re watching zombies being blown to Hell. This is clearly prerendered, so don’t get too excited.

11:10 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Left 4 Dead 2!

11:10 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:10 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Wow, I’ll hand it to them, Microsoft is pumping out huge announcements with these short clips.

11:10 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:11 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Now we’re watching another preredered trailer that looks like Splinter Cell.

11:11 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:11 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
I know it’s Splinter Cell because they called the guy Sam Fisher. I’m not that good. Splinter Cell Conviction is the name of the game.

11:11 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:12 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Ubisoft, makers of Splinter Cell Conviction, are onstage to give a realtime demo. More on these games over at Kotaku.

11:12 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:13 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:14 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Wow, nice lighting, more smoother animation. But not much in terms of textures. The game almost looks cartoony. This is so barely a realtime demo there are so many cuts to CGI. Now we’re in a larger environment. Frame rates have dropped quite a bit.

11:14 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:14 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Did I just see bullet time? I think so! Suck on that, Neo.

11:15 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:15 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:16 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Yeah, the game looks fun with varied environments like streets and museums. They still need to polish the edges, which are often distractingly pixelated. But Sam Fisher is kicking ass, Bourne-style. And like I said, the noir lighting is really fantastic.

11:16 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:17 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:17 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
It’s very Bourne Identity. The demo is over. It’ll be released this fall.

11:17 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:18 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Schappert back, doing his thing. I will say, he’s way more comfortable in front of an audience than he was when Peter Moore first left. And he just introduced Forza 3.

11:18 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:19 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Microsoft stage reveals a REAL CAR! This is just like Price is Right! Forza’s director is out now.

11:19 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:19 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
BTW, that car is an Audi V8 R10.

11:20 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:20 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:20 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:21 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
It’s been called the definitive racing game of this generation twice now during this conference. How’s it look? I’m not sure the gameplay we just watched was real, frankly. But it looked…good? We saw so little, it’s tough to tell. Now we’re watching mechanics talk about how great the game will be in a teaser trailer.

11:22 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:23 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
More on Forza over at Kotaku, btw. And now for another prerendered trailer!

11:23 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:24 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
More Forza pimping. If you need to use the facilities, do so now. Ships October.

11:25 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Halo 3 ODST, World Premier. Bungie onstage!

11:26 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Alright, we’re watching what looks like filmed in-game footage. Spartans are dropping from the sky in pods. Lots of inaudible shouting. EXPLOSION. “We’re going in hard!!”

11:27 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Now we’re waking up on the ground. You’re a rookie without his team. And the biggest change is the HUD. You see lines in the helmet.

11:27 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Now you get a lowlight vision mode, and the bad guys are outlined in red. It’s SO different, SO much more HUDdy with this new visor. But I like the look.

11:28 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:28 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
The terrain is outlined as well. Outlines outlines outlines. I wonder if it makes designing the depth of a level and lighting easier.

11:28 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:30 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
But even without Master Chief and the new HUD, this feels like Halo…but maybe with a little influence from Call of Duty, with lots of your squad shouting at you all the time. And that’s a wrap for ODST.

11:30 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Oh, but that’s not all. A TOP SECRET PROJECT TOO!!

11:31 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
“From the beginning”…this is gonna be epic. Someone is floating outside of Earth. Epic soundtrack. This feels more like Halo 3, the scale of it all. The world is being bombed. HALO Reach.

11:32 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:32 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Is it a space sim? We dunno. “Falls 2010″

11:32 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
When you buy ODST, you get an invite to Halo Reach’s multiplayer beta. Interesting. We don’t know if it’s an FPS or not. Moving on…

11:34 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Now we’re seeing a clip teasing Alan Wake. It’s one of those interactive movie titles. And we’ve just been promised some realtime demoing of the title. More on these games over at Kotaku.

11:34 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:35 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Now for the realtime gameplay of Alan Wake. It’s an over the shoulder, Unreal Engine looking title. There is an annoying voiceover that’s like a cheesy novel. Alan has a flashlight, a shotgun and his balls. Someone is knocking over trees and lifting cars in the background. It’s very sci fi spooky.

11:37 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Interesting, there is a lot of combat. It looks like the flashlight burns attackers who spark under its influence. This game feels way more like an action shooter than something like Quantic Dream’s Heavy Rain or Indigo Prophecy.

11:39 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Holy shit. Alan Wake just busted out a flare in slow motion. OK, this demo is going on too long. There’s a bulldozer attacking Mr Wake. I’m hoping it kills him so this demo is over. The sequence ends with To Be Continued. Look for Alan Wake spring 2010.

11:39 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Schappert is back out. Music coming to Xbox Live!

11:39 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
last.fm

11:40 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:40 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
The interface looks slick. It’ll be available to Gold members later this year for free.

11:40 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:41 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:41 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Now on to Netflix. They are allowing you to add movies to your queue from the Xbox – no PC required.

11:41 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
They’re talking about sky TV coming to the 360, but that was announced earlier this week (and it’s UK only).

11:41 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:42 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Not they’re talking about the Xbox’s video store. It’s been “challenged to do more.” Today, they answered this challenge with Zune video. HD video library goes 1080P. And there’s more…

11:43 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:43 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
All movies and TV shows will stream instantly. And the video store is coming to 18 countries

11:43 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
It’s called Instant On 1080P HD.

11:43 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:44 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:44 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:44 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Movies, TV and music are coming to Live Party. A group of avatars can sit together on a couch, heavy pet, and watch content together. It was greeted with an unenthusiastic applause from the audience.

11:44 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:44 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Whoa. Xbox Live is partnering with Facebook.

11:45 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:45 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Felicia Day is onstage. She’s from The Guild on Xbox Live. And she’s here to tell us why social networking on Xbox 360 is very important.

11:45 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:45 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:46 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:46 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
It shares the same interface as the New Xbox Experience sidescrolling windows. It actually looks a bit clunky. I mean, it’s a lot of windows to tab through to find a friend or Facebook stalk an ex.

11:46 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:47 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:47 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Status updates are quarantined to these individual windows as well. There’s no one big feed like you see on Facebook (or Twitter). Ugh.

11:47 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:47 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
He;s bringing Metal Gear Solid franchise to the Xbox 360.

11:47 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Facebook Connect allows you to post screenshots from games, Tiger Woods shown here, to your Facebook account. Interesting.

11:47 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
In addition to Facebook, Xbox Live gets Twitter!

11:48 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:48 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
This looks totally different. Twitter is not cut up into various New Xbox Experience windows. Instead, you see one big feed. The background is every so subtly animated. And that’s all they’re showing us.

11:49 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:49 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:49 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Schappert is back out. And he’s “not done yet.” He introduces Senior VP Don Mattrick to take over from here.

11:50 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
“It seems we’re missing one crucial piece of the puzzle.” METAL GEAR!

11:50 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:50 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:50 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Hideo Kojima is onstage. Maybe we didn’t imagine that alert earlier!

11:50 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:51 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
The next major release will be called Metal Gear Solid Rising.

11:51 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Don is all like, we welcome you and Snake. And Kojima is all like…wait, I didn’t say anything about Solid Snake.

11:52 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:52 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Yeah, if you’ve played the franchise, it’s actually Raiden that you’ll be playing. More on these games over at Kotaku.

11:52 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:53 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Kojima leaves the stage. Microsoft takes a cold shower. And the Don keeps chatting about Xbox Live, what it’s done, where it’s going, yada yada.

11:53 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
People ask me, can you add a motion controller? “Of course we can.” But here’s the problem, the controller “is a barrier.”

11:54 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:54 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
“We asked ourselves a new set of questions. Can we go beyond a controller? … Can we make YOU the controller? We can.”

11:54 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:54 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
No controller required. Yes, this looks like the body controller that leaked a few weeks back.

11:55 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:55 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
A kid dodges in front of the TV, a girl turns a wheel she’s not holding. A guy lifts a wheel onto a car in a pit stop.

11:55 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:56 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
A little boy stomps around the living room, controlling a giant lizard. A girl kicks a soccer ball. The clips look great.

11:56 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:56 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
A kid holds his skateboard in the air. He says “scan.” Then he says “play.” Then he skateboards on that board.

11:56 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:56 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Facial recognition. Face to face chatting. You can pull up items, like dresses, to share with your cross dressing friends.

11:57 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:57 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Guys, seriously, these demos are pretty hot. I’m very impressed. We’ll see how much is Hollywood magic.

11:57 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:57 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:58 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Apparently we missed the voice recognition as well, because a lady just said “play movie” and “goodnight.” The clip is over.

11:58 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
It’s called Project Natal.

11:58 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:58 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

11:59 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
The sensor tracks 3D movements and recognizes voices (faces too). It’s controller-free gaming. It’s compatible with every Xbox 360 launched thus far.

11:59 AM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Steven Spielberg takes the stage.

11:59 AM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

12:00 PM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
“How can interactive entertainment become as approachable as other entertainment?” the father of ET asks.

12:01 PM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

12:01 PM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
OK, Spielberg is telling us pretty much nothing. He saw Natal for the first time 2 months ago, a “historic moment” presumably when Microsoft dropped a truckload of Benjamins right on his lap.

12:02 PM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
“It’s not about reinventing the wheel. It’s about no wheel at all.” Haha.

12:02 PM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Spielberg leaves the stage. The Don asks, “how much of this stuff is real?” He introduced Kudo Tsunoda, creative director of Natal.

12:03 PM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
He’s showing us off some early prototype demos. The first demo is the Xbox’s dashboard. It signs you in automatically through facial recognition.

12:03 PM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

12:04 PM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
He moves onstage, his onscreen avatar follows his movements…with a few odd chops, but pretty well.

12:04 PM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
You can swipe through the menus with your hands. navigating everything sans-controller.

12:04 PM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

12:05 PM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

12:05 PM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
He’s dmeoing Ricochet, a sporty tech demo. You see a transparent version of yourself in gamplay like 3D Breakout. You can use your arms…or your head. It looks very good. Very accurate.

12:05 PM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

12:05 PM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
The limb tracking is unlike anything I’ve seen.

12:06 PM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

12:06 PM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
“You’re not using preset waggle commands.” Ouchhhhh. Did Microsoft just kill the Wii?

12:07 PM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

12:08 PM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

12:08 PM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
The next demo is Paint Party. They’re walking us through this demo at a slower pace. They start with a blank canvas, then splash paint on the screen like they’re shoveling water. It’s…not compelling, but OK. I mean, a dude is throwing paint at a wall. It’s tough to judge the accuracy and/or fun level of this demo.

12:08 PM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

12:09 PM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

12:09 PM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
I do like that the demo/painter/artist is talking to the audience, then he slips in “brown” or “green” and the paint color changes.

12:10 PM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

12:11 PM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Now he’s bending over creating a body-sized shadow puppet of an elephant. The game took a snapshot. He’s painting the elephant grey, tossing paint at the canvas wildly. He says “reveal” and the wasted grey paint rips off the canvas, leaving only one grey elephant.

12:11 PM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

12:11 PM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

12:11 PM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Project Natal development kits are arriving at Microsoft partners today.

12:11 PM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Project Natal development kits are arriving at Microsoft partners today.

12:13 PM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

12:13 PM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

12:14 PM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
One of his (real) developers is talking to a boy (in the game). It’s like they’re having a conversation, though clearly the boy hears keywords like “homework” and responds appropriately.

12:14 PM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Now Claire is drawing a picture on a piece of paper. She holds it up to the screen. Natal scans the paper. The boy onscreen recognizes the image. Wow. Coooooooooolll.

12:15 PM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

12:15 PM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
The boy shows Clare how to put on a pair of goggles. Claire reaches down to put on a pair of goggles. Molyneux explains that such is the natural reaction of a human interacting with a piece of software in full motion with audio recognition.

12:16 PM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:
Natal in a word: Holyballs.

12:16 PM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

12:17 PM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Molyneux’s response to haters: “Here’s the fact, we’re showing this behind closed doors at E3.” Needless to say, we’ll be squeezing our way into said demo.

12:18 PM ON JUN 1 2009
matt:

12:20 PM ON JUN 1 2009
Mark Wilson:
Now Microsoft is wrapping things up, reminding us how awesome they are. Matt Buchanan, snapping shots to my right, keeps uttering how Nintendo is dead and Microsoft R&D just pwnd the world. I guess we’ll see where things go from here. Bye everyone, thanks for reading the liveblog. Check out Gizmodo and Kotaku’s coverage if E3 all week, and Sony and Nintendo’s response to Microsoft’s “bringing it” tomorrow morning.

Having just played with a prototype for a few minutes, I’m really impressed with the Zune HD. I’ve got a video, too, showing off how well the animations work.

The device is tighter and more physically beautiful than the iPod Touch and it’s got a better UI, the main menu’s scrolling so natural through the swipe gestures. There’s a little note on the side, under the volume toggle—”Hello from Seattle.” The power button is up top. The home button is nice and prominent, a bar rather than a round button on the Touch. It’s smaller. And the accelerometer is more swift in responding to repositioning; images rotate very fast.

Of course, this thing won’t have hundreds of apps ready for download when it comes out, as the Touch does.

But I would take this in a heartbeat, provided they get around to making a Mac client.